Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief
New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
Read full storyBrian, 'The Bitch' And The Big Probe
A husband is accusing his wife of rape after allegedly refusing to give consent for a dildo to be inserted into his anus. Brian Moonwide, 31, met his wife Alexis 4 years ago and like most sex fiends are seen as reserved and quiet by their neighbou...
Read full storyMan Finally Caught Stealing From Neighbour With Alzheimer's
A man was last night convicted of the theft of a sofa belonging to his next-door neighbour, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Jez Bishop, 45, from Nottingham has been living the high life for years because he has been regularly stealing from h...
Read full storyA Dyslexic Pope bans Satin
Pope Francis, it turns out, is slightly dyslexic. During a recent trip to an Australian Haberdashers, he was offered a new set of robes to be run up. "He was very nice," said Dave Grave, owner of Grave Cloth in Perth. "Until I showed him a list of...
Read full storyCall Centre operators fail the Turing Test
The Turing Test is a test to see if a computer has reached the required level of sophistication to fool a panel of judges that they are talking to a human, instead of a computer. No computer programme has yet managed to convince a quorum of judges th...
Read full storyFuneral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza
Funeral homes and undertakers across the United States are said to be "sitting on a goldmine" as millions of so-called 'Baby Boomers' approach death and their final days on earth. Those Baby Boomers not suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's are a...
Read full storyThe Fool On The Phone (with apologies to the Beatles)
Day after day, alone with his phone The man with the foolish grin is tapping away at his keys But nobody wants to know him They can see that he's just a fool (As he taps away his soul) And the fool on the phone Sees the sun going down But the eyes in his head Are still affixed to his screen Well on the way, mind far away The man types away at his keys but has nothing to say But no...
Read full storyManson Eyes Downtown Wheeling As Home; Could Live In A Box Or At Library
THE BOTTOMLESS PIT, WHEELING, WV -- While many believe a report that Charles Manson will be paroled is just a hoax, we have learned from a source (Manson's third cousin's ex-wife's deported housekeeper Rosalita) who spoke on the condition of anonymit...
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