Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 9 June 2014

image for Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief
There's a bad moon on the rise...

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the United States.

Now the same aspect occurs this coming Friday as Murdoch's former trusted senior news-hounds and six co-accused await a jury's decision in London's Old Bailey phone hacking trial.

"No wonder the octogenarian tycoon's looking twitchy," a New York Toast editorial commented today as Murdoch's pals rallied round loudly empathising with his terrible run of luck since 2011.

That's when his blue-eyed gal Rebekah Brooks, her former NewsCorpse colleague/ex-lover and sometime UK Prime Ministerial communications chief Andy Coulson plus five others former NewsCorpse employees were charged with industrial scale phone hacking.

The scandal resulted in the closedown of Murdoch's famous News of the Screws newspaper after 150 years of tabloid dominion.

Then to cap it all late last year Murdoch's thirty-something Chinese wife Wendi Deng was caught in flagrente with Tony Blair, triggering a nasty $100m divorce and loads of international tongue wagging.

"Yeah, the divorce cost Rupe the Manhattan condo, the ocean-going yacht, the California ranch and fifty million dollars for that hard-nosed bitch," the newspaperman's char woman explained this morning, "he's real wired ahead of the hacking jury's verdict."

NewsCorpse shares have dived in value since both scandals erupted and are just treading water this week as the world awaits the jury's decision in the London trial following eight gruelling months of sordid hacking evidence.

Meanwhile Los Angeles-based online betting website Aintgottaprayer.con is offering even money that the London phone hacking trial jury will give their verdicts by the end of the week.

That's Friday the 13th, the day of the Fool Moon.

Rebekah Brooks' chihuahua is on a vegan liquid diet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more