Hey Pale Face, Keep Our Ethnicity off Your Sports Gear
Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, is under enormous pressure to change the name of the Washington Redskins. Earlier this month, Aris Mardirossian, a neighbor of Snyder, registered a trademark for this NFL football team, "The Washington...
Read full storyTop Ten Cigarette Brands That Never Caught Fire!
Top Ten Cigarettes than never caught on, no matter how many commercials you ran on television and radio, billboards placed along the highways! 10. Lungbusters 9. Saferettes (We put your health first with our filter at each end.) 8. Fifty Butts (Save a buck, order Fifty Butts) 7. S & M's 6. Lucky Dope 5. Tobacco Farmers Genuine Organic Locally Grown Tobacco 4. Cedar...
Read full storyMountbatten down the hatches as Palace takes brunt of St Jude's Hurricane
London, UK - Buckingham Palace has been blown apart by Hurricane Jude in scenes of mayhem last seen during the Blitz. The massive squall struck soon after midnight ripping the gubbins from the Palace plant room where Prince Harry's eco-friendly hy...
Read full storyIn The Interest of Avoiding Anymore Quarterback Injuries The NFL Will Make It Illegal For A Defensive Player To Touch The Quarterback
NEW YORK CITY - The NFL has finally realized that it has to do something to stop the growing number of quarterback injuries. A representative for the NFL stated that so far this year we have seen quarterback injuries to Minnesota Vikings' Christi...
Read full storyWashington Redskins to Change Name to Redass Monkeys
The Washington Redskins or should I say, the former Washington Redskins, have officially changed their name to the Washington Redass Monkeys according to a spokesman for the team Saturday. "We're tired of being pointed out by nut jobs", stated the...
Read full storyWhite House Admits Employing the Carney Automaton
Following weeks of heated rumors and speculation the White House issued a press release admitting that Presidential Apologist Jay Carney is not actually human, but is an early prototype of a new line of talking-points press robots. The discovery foll...
Read full storyNevada Votes To Outlaw Texting During Sex
CARSON CITY, Nevada - In a move that state senators hope will help to ease the rising divorce rate in the state, the Nevada Senate has voted 17-4 to outlaw texting during the sex act. One senator, who asked that we not reveal his name, said that h...
Read full storyTop 12 Horror Movies That Flopped!
The following horror films tried hard to scare people and therefore become a classic and produce money year after year, when released around Halloween. But, for one reason or another, flopped after word got round that they stank! 12. The Silence of the Lambskins 11. The Texas See-Saw Murders 10. The Shunning 9. The Extra Cyst 8. Motor Psycho 7. The Night of the Living Br...
Read full storyTaco Bell To Begin Selling A 5-Pound Burrito
IRVINE, California - The largest Mexican food chain in the United States has just announced that they will soon be introducing their new 5-pound burrito. A Taco Bell spokesperson has informed the public that the new menu addition will be available...
Read full storyHey Jude! Patron Saint of Lost Causes Visits UK
The Patron Saint of Lost Causes, St Jude, the hero of this particular fighter for lost causes, is due to visit the UK shortly. Media anticipation of the Saint's arrival has outstripped the welcome given to the last Pope when he visited our shore.
Read full storyJob Hunters Asked to Respect Private Property
With job season just around the corner, the Labor Department is once again reminding job hunters to respect the rights of private property owners in their pursuit of the perfect job. "In the past we have had incidents where job hunters have gone o...
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