Job Hunters Asked to Respect Private Property

Funny story written by Adam Click

Sunday, 27 October 2013

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The second week of job camp Is the greatest time of year.

With job season just around the corner, the Labor Department is once again reminding job hunters to respect the rights of private property owners in their pursuit of the perfect job.

"In the past we have had incidents where job hunters have gone on to private property to seek employment.", Department administrator Joel Tweed said, "The owner finds out and becomes angry, or the job hunter actually finds a job but it's on posted land and he tries to get the job anyway. This can lead to the property owner closing his land to all job hunters and spoiling the experience for everybody."

He continued: "In our society today, the job hunter already has a bad reputation and events such as these can only serve to tarnish that reputation further."

Mr Tweed offered the following tips for would-be job hunters:

Always presume your resume is loaded and ready to go off.

Never point your resume at anyone or anything you are not prepared to kill.

Always wear blaze orange when out in the field looking for a job, and remember to wear all identification and registration materials issued by authorities.

Only hunt for a job between the hours of sunrise and sunset.

If visibility is poor be extra careful and don't shoot for the first job that comes along. That trophy job may be just around the corner and you don't want to frighten it off by being ill prepared.

Mr Tweed concluded his remarks by wishing everyone a safe and successful job hunting season.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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