Toyota announes new nitrogen powered car for two million dollars
Toyota announced that next year's offerings of energy efficient cars will include their new "Nitrorider" vehicle, capable of achieving speeds close to 50 miles an hour on a tank of liquid nitrogen. A spokesman for the company said that while t...
Read full storyCurse of the Kennedys as Kerry Cuomo's Ecuador millions pipedream goes down the pan
New York - "Looks like Kerry's sleepwalked right into a massive pile of toxic Ecuadorean shit," leading Professor of Somnambulism Studies Dr Einstein Flintstone said this weekend commenting on ditsy human frights activist and self-publicising Ambien...
Read full storyUS super majors shun Brazilian auction
Sao Paulo - A $7 billion [15 billion real] upfront 'signature bonus' demanded by Sao Paulo auctioneers has been slammed by US energy companies as a crude scam amid rumors of a Hugo Chavez-style nationalization of Brazilian oil and gas next year. B...
Read full storyThe Two Teds to Tour Together
In spite of the spanking the Tea Party received from Barack Obama after its failed government shutdown recently, Ted Cruz and Ted Nugent are unapologetic and are going to tour together to promote the stranglehold the Tea Party, they hope, still has o...
Read full storyThe Kentucky Derby Could Be Moving To Detroit
DETROIT - President Obama has just informed the mayor of Detroit that there is a very strong possibility that the famed Kentucky Derby could be moving from Louisville, Kentucky to Detroit, Michigan in 2015. The president told the mayor that the re...
Read full storyKatie Holmes Confesses That New Boyfriend Jamie Foxx Is 10 Times More Fun Than Ex-Husband Tom Cruise Was
NEW YORK CITY - Sweet little Katie Holmes is thrilled at the fact that she has a new boyfriend. Holmes is reportedly on Cloud 9 since she has been hitting the dating scene with Jamie Foxx star of Django Unchained. The 34-year-old brunette pixie...
Read full storyThe Hillary Clinton - Angelina Jolie Feud Escalates
NEW YORK CITY - Larry King, co-host of The Viagra View is reporting that the ongoing feud between former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and actress Angelina Jolie has gotten worse. It appears that both women are really digging in and tossing o...
Read full storyTed Cruz and The Tea Party People Are Very Unhappy
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It appears that Senator Ted "Teddy Boy" Cruz and most members of the Tea Party are extremely upset. Cruz informed the news media that he and the Tea Party members want the media and people in general to stop referring to them as...
Read full storyThe Winless New York Giants Have Consulted A Louisiana Voodoo Woman
NEW YORK CITY - The Giants of New York who presently possess an 0-6 record have entered the Desperation Zone. A spokesman for the Giants organization has said that the owner, coaches, and players have no idea what the hell is going on. Many sea...
Read full storySandra Bullock Confesses She Loves George Clooney But Sadly Says That He Only Dates Women That Are Much Younger Than Her
AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock was in the backyard of her Austin mansion barbecuing some fajitas for herself and her 4-year-old son Louis. Earlier she'd had a phone conversation with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk. Chipotle had asked her how sh...
Read full storyArizona Has Found A Solution To The Problem of School Bus Violence
PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has just informed the news media that she and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio have figured out a solution to a very pressing matter. The governor said that since the start of the school year, about...
Read full storyMartha Stewart - Looking For Love And Food
MANHATTAN - The nation's most famous domestic entrepreneur recently sat down in her luxuriously exquisite Manhattan apartment and talked with Fitzwater Ribicoff of American Spotlight Magazine. Stewart who is 72, opened up to Ribicoff and expressed...
Read full storyThe NFL May Be Doing Away With Team Huddles
NEW YORK CITY - The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the National Football League is looking into the possibility of doing away with team huddles. SBG reporter Zorro La Bamba met with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell at a local Pompous Pizza Par...
Read full storyA 91-Year-Old Wisconsin Woman Becomes The Oldest Person To Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
MILWAUKEE - The city of Milwaukee is famous for being the beer brewing capital of the United States. And now Milwaukee can also boast that it is home to Adele Bunsenbaker who, at the age of 91, has just become the oldest individual to ever climb M...
Read full storyChelsea Handler Admits That If She Was A Man She Would Be All Over Jennifer Aniston
LOS ANGELES - Chelsea Handler has stated on several occasions on her TV talk show Chelsea Lately that contrary to widespread rumors she is not now nor has she ever been a lesbianite. Handler said that she thinks that the vicious gender rumors may...
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