Pope Francis Proclaims That Atheists Are Infallible
ROME--Pope Francis, after astounding everyone last week by announcing that even atheists can be redeemed, went a step further today and proclaimed that all atheists are infallible. Pope Francis elaborated: "The Church has misled all of us, all of u...
Read full storyYouTube users cannot spell for shit, report finds
YouTube users are unable to string even the simplest of sentences together, it has emerged. A new study by everyone who has ever used the internet has found that 96% of people who post comments on YouTube are unable to spell their own name, tell...
Read full storyNew Bumper Stickers For Our Brainwashing School Systems
For years we have heard the mantra that 'If you can read this, thank a teacher" thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course, the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings - the brainwash, the intimidation,...
Read full storyAmerican second amendment misinterpreted
The American law that states US citizens have the right to bear arms was actually intended to allow people the right to arm bears, it has emerged. The ambiguous legal phrasing, which has been a topic of controversy in the states for years, is said...
Read full storyGun Nuts Promote More Mass Shootings As A Way Of Stimulating Gun Sales
Gun toting crazies, flush with a victory over the US Government and common sense in general with their defeat of all gun bills, have decided to keep on a roll and create more gun sales by stimulating more mass shootings. Observing that the sale of gu...
Read full storyFeds shut down Diabolical Liberty Reserve
New York - Federal prosecutors have smashed a $6bn international money-laundering scheme based in Costa Rica after a tip-off fingered the 'digital currency' provider. Southern District of New York legal sources say the sheer scale of the Diabolica...
Read full storyWelsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam
Wales - In a new twist on that old chestnut of 'Did The Earth Move For You, Darlin'?' an ominous 3.8 magnitude tremor in North Wales' Llyin' Penisula has rocked the Pretender's gargantuan aspirations to the throne. "Something - or someone - has f+...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Regrets Having Sold His Wyoming Ranch
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber says that he is going to try and straighten out his life before he ends up like Lindsay Lohan or even worse like Amanda Bynes. The Canadian singer met with Hollywood Vis-à-Vis reporter Hacienda Dakota at a Hank's Hippit...
Read full storyA Devastated Demi Moore Spotted Walking Alone Along The Beach at Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Demi Moore left the Tinsel Town radar screen and no one, not even her hair stylist FuFi Fondue knew where the G.I. Jane star was. Fondue placed several calls before he learned that Moore had flown down to Mexico by herself...
Read full storyTiger Woods Shocked To Hear That His New Blonde Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn May Be Dumping Him Soon
INDIANAPOLIS - Tiger Woods had just finished playing 18 holes at the Indianapolis Invitational when he was asked about the Lindsey Vonn rumor. Woods still had the putter in his hand as he was taken aback by the question. Sports Territory Magazi...
Read full storyJessica Simpson's New Perfume Is Now On Sale
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson, who has had her share of ups and downs where male relationships are concerned is reportedly on Cloud 9. The singer, actress, and business mogul has just announced that her brand new perfume is now available in al...
Read full storyBrad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Talking Splitsville
NEW YORK CITY - A close friend of Brad Pitt has stated that Brad has hinted that he and Angelina Jolie could be splitting up. The friend who was Brad's stunt double in two of his movies said that the pressure from constantly being in the entertain...
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