Written by rfreed

Wednesday, 29 May 2013


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image for Gun Nuts Promote More Mass Shootings As A Way Of Stimulating Gun Sales
There's an idiot with a gun: get 'im!

Gun toting crazies, flush with a victory over the US Government and common sense in general with their defeat of all gun bills, have decided to keep on a roll and create more gun sales by stimulating more mass shootings. Observing that the sale of guns actually increases after mass killings and after threats of gun control restrictions, they have decided to go for broke.

Gun fanatics have already been making a killing (so far, just in the financial sense of the word) selling shotguns in the parking lots outside of shopping malls. Unfortunately, except for a few misfires from people purchasing guns who have never used them before, there hasn't been any drastic casualties.

Setting up booths selling assault rifles outside of elementary schools has also not gotten any takers so far. They have even tried selling the guns to toddlers on their way to class, but found that they were too heavy for them to carry, much less aim.

"We'll come back next week with some lighter handguns. They don't have quite the shooting potential, but are good for getting the ball rolling." stated top salesperson Shute M. Upp.

Sales have gone remarkably well outside of mosques in the U.S. Interestingly the demographics for this have been mostly men in their early teens and a mixture of alienated young Muslims born in the Mideast and raised in America, and skin-head white supremacists who are scared of alienated young Muslims born in the Mideast and raised in America.

Reports of a possible back-fire (no pun intended) to the plans are coming in thick and fast.

A booth selling guns in Portland Oregon was visited by several liberal groups who chanted "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em", and they used the salespeople for target practice with the new assault rifles they had just purchased.

At one outside Washington D.C., a group of concerned parents went up to a booth outside a school, bought several guns and shot the sales people to little pieces.

At a local bake-sale, a group of girls, sick of losing money due to being sited next to a gun stall, bought a couple guns and blasted the stall holders to ammo heaven.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Guns, idiots

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