New toy set introduced by toy company
Harvey L. Bledsoe, R&D Director with Tammel Toys, announced at an annual stockholders meeting recently that a new product line will make its appearance prior to the upcoming holiday season. He told the stockholders, "We revolutionized the market...
Read full storyViagra ban for Prince Philip
Windsor - "Bloody country's going to the dogs if a bloke can't have his little blue pills," a wrecked isle dysfunction specialist at the Palace said today as searing temperatures continued to cook Prince Philip's giblets. The nonagenarian curmudge...
Read full storySour grape news: militant French winegrowers suspected of bombings
Carcassonne - A spate of bomb blasts in Europe's most ancient fortified town have been blamed on disgruntled local winegrowers whose mediocre plonk has been described as little better than battery acid. Months of inexplicable dynamiting of French...
Read full storyThe Best Letter from Mom Contest
Boston, MA - The Boston Tribune's randomly chosen entry into The Best Letter from Mom While You Were at Camp Contest appears below. This week's entry was submitted by Debbie Jones of Dover, MA. Dear Debbie, Dad and I (and the admin that I suspect is Dad's new mistress) are so happy to hear that your summer "job" at the Big Game Reserve in South Africa is going well (especially since Dad and...
Read full storySupreme Court opens self to lobbyists (from a journalist's personal draft notebook)
In the wake of the "Citizens United" case, a surprising development (may have) occurred. It appears that a new group of lobbyists has begun to approach the august body occupying the very pinnacle of United States jurisprudence. First suspicions of the new policy may have arisen from the discreet opening of several new offices on K Street in Washington with nondescript names like "Committee For...
Read full storyPope's remarks panic Purgatory
Vatican City -- An offer by Pope Francis to reduce Purgatory time for Catholics who embrace the "miracle of social media" has led to a massive and sudden selloff of real estate in Purgatory. As a result, prices for Purgatory condos have been slas...
Read full storyU.S. Explorers Discover A World War II German U-Boat In An Alaskan Iceberg
JUNEAU, Alaska - A Group of Arctic explorers from Walla Walla, Washington have reported making a fantastic find. Team leader Marco Ruckertucker, 42, told the news media that his group of six explorers, who have been dubbed The Magnificent 7 by Mic...
Read full storyPaula Deen's Marriage Is On The Rocks
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Just when it seemed that things could not get any worse for the Southern cooking gal, now comes word that her husband is thinking of filing for divorce. According to Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors, Mr. Paula Deen (Michael Groove...
Read full storySarah Palin Says She Received An Email With Suspicious White Powder
WASILLA, Alaska - Since her political career has pretty much evaporated just like an Arizona summer shower, perhaps old "Snowflake" Palin should consider going into standup comedy or better yet secretarial work. The woman who never met a geographi...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo's Mama Says She Doesn't Weigh 400 Pounds Anymore
McIntyre, Georgia - June "Mama" Shannon recently talked to Yippee-Ki-Yay magazine and said that she has lost quite a bit of weight lately. The mother of the infamous little Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson) star of her own hit reality show Here Comes...
Read full storyKansas Bans The California Fad of Wearing Underwear as Outerwear
TOPEKA, Kansas - After receiving thousands and thousands of letters, emails, text messages, and tweets, the state of Kansas has just passed what Kansans are calling a much needed blow for decency, morality, and political awareness. Senator Elvira...
Read full storySexy Tennis Player Agnieszka Radwanska Poses In Nude Magazine and Catches Hell From Her Church
NEW YORK CITY - The world's 4th ranked women's tennis player, Agnieszka Radwanska, is causing quite a storm. Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that the stunningly gorgeous Polish tennis player has just been banned from her church, Our Lady of...
Read full storyFlorida Implements An Amazing New Teenage Curfew
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - The state of Florida has decided that in order to prevent anymore senseless acts of violence [i.e. The George Zimmerman case] it will be putting into effect a new curfew which will apply to anyone between the ages of 8 and 21.
Read full storyThe Reason Why Illegal Aliens Hate Slow Moving Southbound Trains
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Immigration Department has stated that due to some complaints from 313 U.S. citizens, the practice of flying illegal aliens back to their home country will be discontinued. The USID stated that busing them back...
Read full storyWhy Did Lady Gaga Shave The Hair Off The Back of Her Head?
BROOKLYN - Many of Lady Gaga's fans are very concerned with the health and well-being of their Mama Monster. Some say that ever since her surgery to realign her ovaries, she has just not been the same. One of her biggest fans Tiara Glitterglos...
Read full storyLeBron James Explains Why He May Leave The Miami Heat and Return To The Cleveland Cavaliers
CLEVELAND - LeBron James of the world champion Miami Heat was in town visiting some high school friends who told him back in grade school that he'd never make the pros. He was asked by Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette how things were goi...
Read full storyChris Brown Could End Up Singing Behind Iron Bars
CHICAGO - Chris Brown has just had his probation revoked and the hip hopper who thought it was cute to beat the heck out of his girlfriend Rihanna could end up singing acapella and most probably falsetto in prison. According to Celebrity Globe rep...
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