Gold whored in Tipperary pub
Tipperary, Eire - Workmen dismantling burnt remains of the Rainbow's End pub in Carrick-on-Suir, South Tipperary have stumbled on a stash of gold coins stuffed down the back of a Leprechaun's sofa deep beneath the building's medieval foundations.
Read full storyI'm A Celebrity Chef...Get Me Out Of Here.
The nation's food fans all gasped in amazement There were queues for miles all along the pavement The day that the feted celebrity chefs Met a fate at the fete that was much worse than death Although the sous chefs were usually expedient They had miscalculated, run out of ingredients And so as not to inconvenience the fans It was decided to fill all the woks and the pans With the...
Read full storyChaos at Target store after employee inadvertently fills hand sanitizer dispensers with arousal gel
Police fired rubber bullets and firefighters used water hoses today to try to restore order after hand sanitizer dispensers at a local Target store were accidentally filled with arousal gel. "When I arrived, a dozen shoppers rushed over and began gr...
Read full storyBrain implant for Louis Walsh
A spokesperson from Beaumont Hospital in Dublin confirmed that a small brain implant was successfully performed on X Factor judge Louis Walsh yesterday. The latest information from the hospital suggests that Walsh is recovering well after surgery.
Read full storyBanning Spoons to Save Lives!
There's all this hype about spoons. Seriously, people are lining up outside local stores, waiting in the cold for hours, just to get the latest edition of spoon technology. There are crazy spoon enthusiasts who will even go as far as collecting multiple spoons in various different shapes and sizes. It is becoming a problem comparable to hoarding. What will happen if too many people buy spoons?...
Read full storyWilliam Tell shoots duck in the head in Barnsley, Yorkshire!
Not only is Robin Hood still alive in the Sherwood Forest, Nottingham, thanks to many Hollywood actors prancing around in skinny green tights and showing their love and affection for Maid Marian including Russel "Stone the Crowe not Ducks" and James...
Read full story60 Minutes Catches Barack And Hillary In Compromising Situation
BILLINGSGATE POST - Not since the Yalta Conference of February 1945, where President Roosevelt and Soviet Union dictator Joseph Stalin fell in love at this romantic setting, has the world been made privy to such a tear-jerking rapprochement of mutual...
Read full storyCanada offers asylum to Syria's Assad if US will take back Randy Quaid
The United States today rebuffed an offer by Canadian officials to provide immediate asylum to embattled Syrian president Bashar al-Assad if the U.S. agrees to take back actor Randy Quaid. The 62 year-old Quaid, best known for his portrayal of Cousi...
Read full storyDoctors now say pregnant women should definitely clean cat litter box
After many years of advising pregnant women to avoid cleaning their cat's litter box, medical experts say new research suggests soon-to-be moms not only should change the kitty litter but perform the task as frequently as possible. "It's a huge...
Read full storySofia Vergara Is Proud of Her 34-DD's
HOLLYWOOD - Sofia Vergara was spotted having lunch at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in Hollywood. She recently appeared on The View and was asked by Elizabeth Hasselbeck about being so well-endowed in the rack department. Vergara, wh...
Read full storyTartan Paint is finally invented
It's been a well-known practical joke for years now, someone is asked to fetch a list of products which don't exist and they fall for it because in the spur of the moment the items sound quite believable. Examples of products people might be asked fo...
Read full storyHold the Rondo, Neat, Straight Up
The naysayers and doomsday prophets have come home to roost in Boston now that Rajon Rondo is gone for the season. The tide of fan support for Rondo appears to be going out and taking the point guard with it. The Celtics are now without Rondo f...
Read full storyThe nation honours Paul for the lovely weekend
In a shock announcement today, a previously unknown scientist is a surprise late addition to the New Year's Honours list, receiving an OBE for services to the nation. Paul Montgomery, 31, from Pewsey, revealed he had fitted snow tyres to his car...
Read full storyPETA Furious About Iran Launching A Monkey Into Outer Space
NORFOLK, Virginia - There are an awful lot of unhappy folks at the organization known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The group's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter sent an email to the Iranian Assistant Def...
Read full storyDavid Arquette Gives Adam "The Birthday Boy" Lambert a Lap Dance
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The glamboyant singer Adam Lambert celebrated his 31st birthday at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge with friends, band members, and one of the club's owners David Arquette. Arguette, who is an alumni of Dancing With The Stars, got so caug...
Read full storyBritney Spears - Sweat Pants and Cigarettes
SANTA MONICA - Some of Britney Spears' close friends have expressed some concern over the "Oops!...I Did It Again" girl. Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that ever since Spears got canned from her $15 million a year X-Factor judges gig she seems to...
Read full storyTravel host Rick Steves reported lost in Costco parking lot
Rick Steves, the author and host of PBS travel show Rick Steves' Europe, has become lost and disoriented in a Costco parking lot, according to authorities. "Mr. Steves was able to make contact with us on his cell phone, and we are currently in th...
Read full storyTwo communications professors trade over whether or not "friggin'" is a real word
Two college professors had to be forcibly separated by students after they got into a fistfight over whether or not the term "friggin'" is a real word. 64 year-old Professor Wilkie Hyennisfield admitted to police that he threw the first punch.
Read full storyRobotics Company to Manufacture Androids
Tucson AZ: Acme Robotics Inc. (ARI) a company that specializes in biotechnology, robotics and artificial intelligence applications announced the development of androids for home and business applications. The two male and female android prototypes...
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