President Obama promises that taxes will go up "for everyone but you"
President Obama recently reassured the nation that taxes would indeed go up, but only for other people. "If you're afraid of taxes going up, they will, but not for you. For others, maybe, but not you." the President stated in a speech to the...
Read full storyDuchess Of Cambridge In Tears After Unveiling Of Official Portrait!
The Duchess of Cambridge broke down in tears this morning when she and Prince William attended the unveiling of her first official portrait at London's National Gallery. Kate was upset after discovering gorilla artist Paul Emsley had depicted her...
Read full storyBrit MP's demand a 32% pay rise to compensate for all of the hot air they blow!
British MP's are demanding at least a 32% payrise because they feel the hot-air garbage that spews out of their mouths is worth much more than what they are receiving at the moment! David Cameron who spews out the most hot-air rhetoric, is demandi...
Read full story"Go easy on the Garlic!"
Labour Party leader and failed experiment, Little Eddie Milipeed, has reputedly offered to 'bury the hatchet with elder sibling, the slathering eye-piercing David 'Renfield' Milipeed. Seemingly, Dave, who vanished from the political scene after th...
Read full storyAmerica Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster
Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed to rescue America from bankruptcy. In...
Read full storyObama To Ban Shotgun Weddings: Calls It Asymmetrical Warfare
BILLINGSGATE POST - Vice-President Biden announced today that he will recommend to the President that shotgun weddings be banned. A shotgun wedding is a situation in which a girl gets knocked up and the family forces the boy and girl to get married.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Has A Crush On Taylor Swift's Ex-Boyfriend Harry Styles
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has revealed to an entertainment news reporter that she has a crush on Taylor Swift's latest member of The Taylor Swift Ex-Boyfriend's Club, Harry Styles, of the boy band One Direction. Cyrus, who is engaged to down u...
Read full storySpoof Editor ups the ante with $100 message charging
London - Writers hoping to contact elusive billionaire Spoof website owner Mark Lowton got a shock this morning when the new messaging service fee came into effect. The measure is thought to be a practical solution to the thousands of cyber beggin...
Read full storyDouchesse painting 'ain't no Salvator Mundi' says top NYC art critic
Manhattan, NY - A creepy new portrait of top Brit gold digger Kate Middleton has been panned by a leading New York art critic despite rave reviews on the other side of the Pond. Dr Cosmo Gouazzo, Gulbenkian Professor of Gum Arabic Studies at The S...
Read full storyWade Phillips Tells Wes Welker to Kiss His Bum
Defensive Coordinator of the Houston Texans Wade Phillips has left a bigger mess than Boston Bruin slob emeritus Tyler Seguin. Bum's son claimed in an ESPN interview that Wes Welker was no athlete, and a bit of a shrimp to boot. Apparently catc...
Read full storyJim Davidson Nicked
Washed-up comedian Jim Davidson has been arrested by police in London after complaints from members of the public that he is shit. Davidson, 59, is the one-time 'funnyman' who coined the jocular phrase "Nick, Nick", and built his whole act upon it...
Read full storyThat Was One Mad As Hell Neutered Great Dane!
MUNCIE, Indiana - In an unbelievable turn of events, Clover Q. Chitterling of Muncie took his 187-pound Great Dane Mr. Bruiser to get neutered. And what occurred afterward was simply astounding. Mr. Chitterling, who is an unemployed private invest...
Read full storyUnited State's First Two Trillion Dollar Coins End up in White House Vending Machine
In a dubious mishap, the president of the United States, Barack Obama, lost the first two trillion dollar coins that were minted at the US mint when he put them into a White House vending machine. Apparently, the president was given the coins a mont...
Read full storyDue To Biting The Hand That Bailed It, AIG Forced To Drop "American" From Name
Due to the corporation American International Group even THINKING about suing the U.S. Government after getting bailed out by every taxpayer in the country the government has responded by demanding that the company drop the "American" part of their name. Ex AIG CEO Maurice Greenberg wanted to join in a joint lawsuit against the government stating that the details of the bailout deprived sharehold...
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