More Pathetic Letters To The Problem Page
Dear Sir, I write in the hope that you might sympathise with my plight. For none of mine aquaintance could be expected to proffer aught but brickbats, opprobrium or the cold shoulder. You see, I have somehow acquired the reputation for being a bringer of ill-fortune. "Get away!" they cry. "Why haunteth thou me thus?" If I was a young man, I would have run away to sea long ago. Your...
Read full storyBeagle 2 British Mars probe released from CIA's Area 51
Britain's £44 million Mars probe, Beagle 2, which came down accidentslly just outside area 51 in the USA, panicked local "Close Encounters" UFO spotters so much by its constant digging of soil samples and analytical laser firing that the C.I.A immedi...
Read full storyThe LaLaLand Lakers Are 0-2 Since Kobe Bryant's Return
LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Lakers fans have been waiting patiently for their superstar Kobe Bryant to return to the Staples Center and the NBA's greatest ball hog finally did. But since his triumphant return complete with a fist bump from Coach...
Read full storyPresident Obama Invites Denmark's Sexy Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt To Spend The Christmas Holidays At The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has stated that President Obama was so impressed with the blonde Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt that he has invited her and her husband to the White House for the Christmas holid...
Read full storyFather Christmas strikes new home delivery hamper deal to help struggling Canada Post
Last minute negotiations between Santa Claus and Canada Post have saved millions of folks's Christmas dinners. Changes to Canada Post's delivery strategy for rural areas meant peanut butter sandwiches and milk for Christmas dinner was all that co...
Read full storyThe Patriotic Press: If You Don't Read From This, You Probably Are a Communist
The next presidential election (of 2016) is fast approaching the American public. In political terms, that's sooner than tomorrow. In order to compensate for all the lost time political parties have wasted not blasting the population with political propaganda, a new ad campaign has just began. The majority of Americans are not yet aware of this pressing problem. Fervor will run so high on both...
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