A day in the life of a real Time-lord
Written by a Gallifreyan doctor (not 'The Doctor') with editorial assistance from Nate John Won Okay, so it finally happened - a renegade Time-lord from our world (Gallifrey) decided (in the Humanian Era, 1963) to go against all of our moral rules for social conduct, and presented a story based upon our culture to an Earth-based tele-visual organisation - the BBC. They called it Dr Who and the...
Read full storyRomney Promises to Eliminate All Taxes
Romney took his conservative economic policies to a new extreme today. At a campaign rally in Phoenix, AZ he promised an enthusiastic group of supporters that if elected, he would do everything in his power to end all taxes. The promise struck ev...
Read full storyThe Manchester Money Men
Roberto Mancini has ordered rival managers to stop talking about the amount of money he is spending. "I will not have these baseless accusations thrown at me and my club. We are spending well within our means...." Yeah, if you were a small oil...
Read full storyOne Fat Lady V Badgers
Back and to the Left news has once again shot to the top of the pile of investigative journalism when we scored a interview with one of the "Two Fat Ladies". TV chef Clarissa Dickinson spoke to most of the population's innermost desires when she said...
Read full storyMitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!
CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - The face of Republican Presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, "miraculously appeared" on a urinal mint, in the toilet of the Monk's Quarters, in this small Jesuit Convent tucked away in the foothills of west-central Wes...
Read full storyThe Greatest Clairvoyant In The United States Is Retiring
RENO - Word has just come out of The Biggest Little City In The World that one of it's famous citizens is retiring. Thor VanPinderhausen, 53, who is regarded as one of the greatest clairvoyants in America, has said he is quitting because he just d...
Read full storyEngland's most stupid burglary attempt at Palace
A ginger-haired man in a high-visibility jacket was spotted yesterday in broad daylight trying to steal the Crown Jewels from Buckingham Palace. He was heard shouting into a megaphone with threats of "Give us the jewels or I'll call the police!"...
Read full storyCindy Crawford And Mole To Separate
Forgotten 90's pin up and Richard Gere's former squeeze Cindy Crawford has confirmed that she is splitting with her mole of forty-six years. It's not the first high profile split for Crawford. She and Gere, who's middle name is Tiffany, got divorc...
Read full storyCold War archives show Dallas star Linda Gray 'is John F Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe's daughter'
Yorba Linda, CA - "No wonder they shot JFK, RFK and dastardly JR," a former curator at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum commented as news of the DNA test findings finally broke. Buried under mountains of conspiracy theory dossiers...
Read full storyDriving test for get away drivers
The Police have stepped in to insist that all get away drivers are tested under new Bank Robbery rules. Chief Constable Pinhead declared that getaway drivers are giving the British Motorist a bad name, often parking on double yellows outside the B...
Read full storyAbu Hamza off to America
Abu Hamza has asked the Court if he can be allowed to walk to the U.S. as part of a sponsored walk to collect for Charity. Hamza said he wanted to save the UK taxpayers money and at the same time do something useful.. Using the little known rou...
Read full storyCinderella Goodell Loses His Glass Slipper!
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's fairy godfathers, aka team owners, have left him hanging onto the ball by his fingertips. As a result, Roger Goodell has gone into hiding. After another fiasco on national television, who can blame him? Fans are...
Read full storyBritish Olympic team having to hand back all medals
The entire British Olympic team are having to return all medals after it was revealed that government agents had been spraying "slowing down" gas through the vents at the opposition sleeping quarters. Whistleblower Agent Dodgy Noseybastard thought...
Read full storyPresident Obama Attempts to Sway Middle Aged Female Voters
President Barack Obama sought to woo women voters at a taping of the daytime talk show "The View," by flirting with his wife and bearing gifts of sexual toys and candies for the hosts, but he could not escape tough questions on his and the First Lady...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Kicks Off Season #15
HOLLYWOOD - Thirteen couples are competing for the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy on this season's edition of Dancing With The Stars: The All-Stars. Ling Chow Rangoon is covering the celebrity contestants and the professional instructors for iRumors.
Read full storyMitt Romney Denies He Is Disowning His Cousins in Mexico
CARIBOU, Maine - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into the town where reportedly most of the Revolutionary cannonballs were manufactured. Romney spoke before a crowd of 37 people that had gathered in the parking...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Interviews Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and talked with Morgan about the 2012 presidential campaign and his running mate Paul Ryan. PIERS: Good evening Mitt, and how the bloody 'ell are ya? ROMNEY: I'm good Piers. But let me remind you that I am a Mormon, a Republican, and a resident of Massachusetts, so I do not like anyone cursing in my presence. PIERS: Well why the bloomin' 'ell n...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Says, Paul Ryan's Voice Sounds Just Like His
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen was relaxing by the pool at his Mulholland Estate Mansion Casa Jose Cuervo. He was listening to a Led Zeppelin CD, while drinking Tequila Sunrises, and talking about the Emmy Awards and how his ex-cast member on Two an...
Read full storyBritain Braces Itself For Mild Weather
Those plucky Brits have been warned this week to batten down the hatches and prepare themselves for prolonged outbreaks of mild weather. Forecasters predict that the skies will probably be grey, and that gentle breezes will probably blow sporadic...
Read full storyLocal Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting
Notorious shed refugee, Martin Shuttlecock, who traditionally cuts and runs when the going gets tough, has apparently fled to the sanctuary of his garden shed again - for only the 345th time this year, after being mauled by way of a change by well in...
Read full storyMitt Romney Says President Obama Was Born In The USA - Paul Ryan Says "Nope"
NEW YORK CITY - It appears that other than the headaches that Mitt Romney is getting from being asked to show his income tax returns he now has to deal with his vice-presidential candidate Paul "Eddie Munster" Ryan. "Old Mittens" has admitted to t...
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