Qbama Wins 3rd Round Decison Over Romney
San Francisco, CA, Dougie's Gazette - In last night's Presidential 3rd Round Debate on Foreign Policy, President Obama successfully defended his title of Commander-in-Chief, which will again be contested on November 6. Unofficially, Democrats and...
Read full storyGiants Win NLCS; What If's Being Considered
San Francisco, CA, Dougie's Gazette - How great it was to watch the SF Giants win the NLCS last night. Simply Funtastic! Now however, I have three serious "what if" questions for us to consider: 1. What if the Giants' NLCS MVP Marco Scutaro gets s...
Read full storyTycoon to reveal ID of the 'first Mrs Barack Obama'
New York - "She wasn't American, she wasn't a Democrat and she definitely wasn't black," Southern pork bellies billionaire Aaron 'Rusty' Hogsniffer III announced today ahead of Wednesday's scheduled shock TV press conference. "But at least she was...
Read full storyEva Longoria's tearful admission: My work with cold fusion was derivative
Actress Eva Longoria admitted yesterday that her work on cold fusion, highly praised by the scientific community, was "basically a rehash of a Belgian physicist's work done ten years ago" and isn't worth half the attention it's getting. Speakin...
Read full storyLeaving on a New York Jets Plane: The Patriots Sing the Same Tune
Wasn't it Yogi Berra who said, "It was déjà vu all over again"? You can count on a New York athlete to sum up the problems of a Boston team. In this case, it was the New England Patriots-all over again. It was Jets QB Mark Sanchez who gave the Pat...
Read full storyThe Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Manager
Following on from 'The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Footballer', and in response to the literally one letter we received, here is our latest helpful guide. This time we are focusing on Premier League management. Once you've finished your Premier League playing career you may want to consider becoming a manager. Not for the money of course as you'll already have enough of that to fu...
Read full storyHealthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester
In a bid to reduce emissions from the vast fleet of buses that operate in and around the Manchester area, Greater Manchester Public Transport Limited have come up with a winning initiative that promises to not only slash exhaust emissions, but reduce...
Read full storyClark Kent quits 'Daily Planet'
After fifty years Clark Kent has handed in his notice at 'The Daily Planet'. The bespectacled farmers son has written a column on nature for the last thirty years but started out in the newsroom. Kent was never very lucky on the news desk and always...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - A Drop of Scotch
Dear Constituents I had a very hectic weekend, utterly spoilt by my wife insisting I attend the wedding of her niece to a man who hails from Edinburgh. As we all know, Scots are well known for being careful with their money but how low they can stoop was brought home to me when I was given a handful of confetti to throw. It was dirty. Whilst I waited in the car for the reception to f...
Read full storyTrump to reveal Kennedy Obama link
Donald Trump will today reveal that after years of digging into Barack Obama's birth records he has found out something that will shake the nation to its knees. Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 but in 1963 when Obama was just two years old he was...
Read full storyClint Eastwood and William Shatner To Star In The Civil War Epic "Horses and Bayonets"
HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Tri-Moon Pictures will soon begin production on Sheboygan Saddlehorn's epic Civil War movie Horses and Bayonets. The movie deals with the battle of Pappy Perkins Creek which is located just outside o...
Read full storyConcern that UK MPs expense fiddling has not gone away
MP David Crausby, 66, claims £1,823-a-month rent to live in London. He has demanded £33,000 in two years. Bolton's MP earns £65,738, and paid £51,620 off his mortgage through the old MPs expenses system. His Westminster flat cost him £285,000 i...
Read full storyHulk Hogan Swears The Sex Tape Is Photoshopped
INDIANAPOLIS - Terry Bollea, better known as Hulk Hogan, was in Indianapolis at The One Gadzillion Books Bookstore signing copies of his latest book Me & Rocky III. Afterwards he was asked by the book store's manager, Pirrelo Slimpike, about t...
Read full storyNicki Minaj Ordered Into Rehab
LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for American Idol has informed the entertainment media that AI judge Nicki Minaj, 29, will be checking into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle stated that...
Read full storyBBC TV Licence Fee To Rise By More Than Inflation
In a major departure from usual government policy, the BBC has been given the green light to raise the annual TV licence fee by 'considerably more than inflation', according to a highly placed government source. It is understood that high level ne...
Read full storyPresidential Debate Part Three - Romney The Musical
The third and final Presidential debate took place last night at Lynn University, Boca Raton, Florida. With CBS old timer Bob Schieffer at the helm it promised to be another lively debate. However, it was a strange statement made by Governor Mi...
Read full storyPinochle Marriage Rules to be Changed
Annapolis MD: The governing board of the American Pinochle Association (APA) has proposed updating this old French card game to encompass the 21st Century concept of same sex marriage. A Pinochle deck of 48 cards consists of two copies for each o...
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