At Charlotte Speedway Cars Drive Fast in Circles
The Coca Cola 600 was under way this week with many automobiles--this reporter counted at least seven of them--driving at high speeds along a circular track. For some reason a crowd of spectators gathered to watch the cars traveling in circles.
Read full storyRay Allen: Fugitive from the Law of Averages
Doc Rivers called Ray Allen an "ultimate gunslinger" after the series with the Sixers ended. What the coach was telling fans was to never count out one of the Dirty Dozen, or is that one of the Magnificent Seven? We always confuse our shooting her...
Read full storyRolling Stone's son Lucas Jagger to co-write first song with Paris Jackson
Los Angeles - A collaboration between two famous rock stars' children is the brainchild of Colombian singer-songwriter Shakira who spotted the pair's talent following a tip from international tennis ace Rafael Nadal. The Grand Slam champ apparentl...
Read full storyNavy Launches Dog Carrier
The United States Navy has launched the first in a series of dog carriers. The USS Rover is able to launch fifty dogs an hour at enemy targets as far as seventy five miles away. It joins a fleet of Cat-a-Boats which can launch a cat a minute for...
Read full storyThe Bee In John Barnes's Bonnet
Ex Liverpool and England midfielder John Barnes has spoken out against racism by saying: "England is a country of passive racists" While Back and to the Left news cannot help but admit that there have been several unsavoury incidents involving racism at football matches, what John is saying is surely a little extreme: considering he was born in Jamaica and played at the highest international...
Read full storyDa Pope's Maid Arrested for Airing His Dirty Underwear
It's been a really bad week for his Holiness, Da Pope. First he has to have his butler John Leaky arrested for imparting unto the press that he, the butler that is, kept a secret stash that was way better than the stuff he gave Da Big Cheese. This caused great discord between the two, especially when Da Big Kahuna smoked a couple of joints of it and found that the stuff the butler was giving him...
Read full storyChaos At Airports As Passengers Demand 'All Must Fly Naked'!
Recent warnings from nano scientists that the latest advances in the development of nano-explosives and clothing materials will soon make it possible for terrorists to combine them together to create explosive shirts, dresses, socks, baseball caps, o...
Read full storyLost your city? There's an app for that
If only the Apple iPhone had been around three thousand years ago, the people of Atlantis could have taken advantage of the latest applelet from French App designers, Le App. Called Applantis, the app monitors the world's network of seismographs a...
Read full storyOne Direction lined up for the 2013 Eurovision song contest
Reality Show Pop Stars, One Direction, have been lined up to represent the UK in the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. "We had to act fast," said Sebastian Coe, who has been appointed to make sure that Britain win in 2013 after several years of abject...
Read full storyLady Gaga cancels Indonesia gig; she's love sick!
Lady Gaga has cancelled her Indonesian gig not because of security reasons; the reason given by her press office. She is sick, love sick, and her new lover cannot be named because of security reasons! Ever since she fell in love, she has been sick...
Read full storyRondo Foreshadows Another Playoff Victory
For fans looking for the augurs of victory for the Boston Celtics in their big Game 7 against the Sixers, they had to look only as far as Rajon Rondo. As he made his way to the clubhouse at the TD Garden, strolling in alone off the street as he of...
Read full storySign writers go on strike over conditions and pay
A large group of people seen milling about outside a factory in Lancaster have been identified as the Sign Writers' Union. The members of the Sign Writers' Union (SUW) had gone on strike and formed a picket line to protest against their pay and co...
Read full storyDawkins to allow 1 Holy Bible per school
Atheist fundamentalist, evolution crackpot and amateur theologian Richard Dawkins has today shocked the known universe by backing plans to allow a single Holy Bible in every English school. However fans of the bonkers professor need not fear, he o...
Read full storyEngelbert Humperdinck reveals why he did the Eurovision Song Contest
Having been beaten by twenty-four of the twenty-six countries taking part in the 2012 Eurovision song contest Engelbert Humperdinck has revealed why he agreed to take part. The Hump, as he is affectionately known by his Spine Osteopath, managed a...
Read full storyQueen Blamed For Glorious Weather Outbreak
As Britain swelters under cloudless skies and glorious sunshine, Her Majesty the Queen is at the centre of a row over the timing of the heatwave. Retail managers maybe rubbing their hands in delight as supermarkets and garage forecourts throng wit...
Read full storyThe North American Hurricane Center In An Effort To Be More Citizen Friendly Will Be Using Generic Hurricane Names Such As Hurricane Bud
MIAMI - The North American Hurricane Center has just informed the American public that it has made a revision to the names it will issue for hurricanes. North American Hurricane Center Executive Director Fittipaldi Fiddlefire, 47, stated that due...
Read full storySmart As a Fox IV
After 5 consecutive days, I learned my girlfriend was about to leave the hospital, so the account had to be settled. During these days, a friend, feeling sorry for me said, 'You must be an idiot to pay the cost of the operation. Silly boy, a crime has been committed, and the criminal has left the scene, and there is no law to protect us, citizens. Why should you pay the cost?' I was baffled. H...
Read full storyThe Indianapolis 500 Will Become The Indianapolis 100 In 2013, In Order To Cut Down Fuel Consumption By 80%
INDIANAPOLIS - The Indianapolis 500 Auto Race governing body known as The Indianapolis Motor Speedway Federation Coalition has just issued a compulsory directive. Gulliver "Green Flag" Greenhauser executive director of The IMSFC stated to the news...
Read full storyVatican Nuns on Strike in Support of U.S. Nuns
Sister solidarity? You betcha! Italian nuns, appalled by the stern rebuke against a leadership group of American nuns issued by the Vatican a few weeks ago, have taken action. Last week they declared themselves on strike, refusing to cook, clean...
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