Lost your city? There's an app for that

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 27 May 2012

image for Lost your city? There's an app for that
All that's left

If only the Apple iPhone had been around three thousand years ago, the people of Atlantis could have taken advantage of the latest applelet from French App designers, Le App.

Called Applantis, the app monitors the world's network of seismographs and provides real time data of impending doom for low-lying cities and conurbations.

"We think that this is an ideal app for anybody living in California," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "It will give them significant warning of any impending disaster that could send the western seaboard sinking under the waves."

Using advanced heuristics and GPS, the app can extrapolate the chances of any particular earthquake triggering a catastrophic collapse of the area in which the iPhone is currently residing.

"I've downloaded it onto all of the iPhones of people I know," said Buck. "Even though we're in Texas and the chance of us sinking beneath the waves is very slight, you just cannot take the risk."

There is a downside to the app.

"The App is free," explained Buck. "This means that it's iStore registration is paid for with advertising. As the phone always needs to know where you are, to give you alerts and probabilities of the land beneath your feet becoming submerged, it allows local companies to send targeted advertising. However, I believe that being told of the latest deals available at Cheeze Wheeze is a small price to pay for public safety."

Should the worst happen, and the area where the iPhone owner is becomes inundated by the sea, then the app can send out a distress beacon so that local rescue services can locate and rescue the stricken.

"If this had been available when the real Atlantis was struck by disaster," said Buck, "then I believe that more people would have survived to tell the tale, and we'd not be referring to it as a mythical legend, but as historical fact."

Le App have added the caveat that the applelet is for informational purposes only, and cannot prevent any area becoming submerged during a natural disaster.

"It's reassuring to know that they have our best interests at heart," said Buck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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