Spoof Writer Contemplates Suicide, Decides Ice Cream is a Better Option
SAN DIEGO - Mediocre Spoof Magazine 'Spoof Ned' (a play on the phrase 'Spoon Fed') recently published a satirical article entitled 'With US Economy in Turmoil, Astronauts Decide to Stay in Space' by Edward James Henrickson. The article was met with r...
Read full storyBank of England Governor blames the Queen
London - Last year's royal wedding hexed the economy and plunged the UK into double dip recession 'like wot satirists predicted back in 2008'. Today a new warning by the Bank of England Governor lays blame squarely on the Queen. The octogenaria...
Read full storyRebekah Brooks to be charged with 'perverting the course of Eastenders'
More bad news emerged last night for former News of The World and Sun editor Rebekah Brooks when it was leaked that the BBC are to take out a civil prosecution for the attack on her ex-hubby Ross Kemp, who played the actor Grant Mitchell in the flags...
Read full storyArchery Class Attendance Increases, Along with Accidental Death Rate
Due to the increase of popular movies that feature protagonists who 'shoot arrows at things' (Hawkeye from Marvel's 'The Avengers', Katniss from 'The Hunger Games'), children now, more than ever, want to be archers. However, there has been (as is wit...
Read full storySacked Kenny Daiglish offered job as Sir Alex's translator!
Ex-Liverpool manager, Kenny Daiglish, has been offered a helping hand by his main adversary, Sir Alex Ferguson, who felt sorry for him. Kenny is to start his new job as Sir Alex's personal translator in the coming season and was overwhelmed by Sir Al...
Read full storyRupert Murdoch Involuntarily Quits News Corp
WHITE PLAINS, NY - The news this week, that Rupert Murdoch is not fit to run News Corp as Chairman and CEO, has hit him pretty hard according to close friends and business acquaintances. Not one to let any moss grow under his feet, however, Murdoch h...
Read full storyManchester City programme to carry Gov health warning.
Government health supremo's have told Manchester City that supporting the club has been deemed to be one of the most stressful activities known to medical science. It has advised the club that from next season the match day programme should carry...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars' "Giggle Girl" Maria Menounos Is Eliminated
HOLLYWOOD - Well there will be a whole lot less giggling on the set of Dancing With The Stars as Maria "Giggle Girl" Menounos has been the latest celebrity to be sent home. The 33-year-old is the co-host with Mario Lopez of the television news pro...
Read full story'Vermin in Ermine' duchess thrown out of Castle as estranged husband can't pay the rent
South Coast - For nearly a decade they flounced around its ancient ramparts telling the whole world the Castle belonged to them. Last week the rent-n-drive pantchnicons finally exited the medieval drawbridge as the East Wing front door slammed shu...
Read full storyBoston Celtics at the O.K. Corral
Doc Rivers cannot take a Holiday at the O.K. Corral for the Philly series. Those famous gunslinger brothers, Wyatt Pierce and Ray Earp, must be ready for the Philadelphia version of the Ike Clanton gang. We always have more confidence when the...
Read full storyPeople would rather be punched in the face than go to the dentist
Britain is facing a bad teeth epidemic, and the Dentist Industry Watchdog, InterDent, has placed the blame firmly at the feet of dentists. "They're very expensive," said Ian Sizer, Press Officer for InterDent. "In a recent survey, people with toot...
Read full storyGemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea
London - "It's bound to rattle the NewsCorpse Fragrant Redhead Garden," a whorticultural society groundsman said this morning as news of the weekend forecast broke. "There's only so much washed out mugwort, poison ivy and wormwood the Show can ta...
Read full storyUniversity Challenge Coverage Boosts Worcester Sauce Jobs
Coverage of the popular BBC quiz show University Challenge could lead to the creation of more jobs at the Worcestershire Sauce factory. The progress of Worcester College, Oxford, to the semi-finals of this year's competition was followed avidly by...
Read full story"Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."
A friend told me about a week or so before we left that he couldn't quite believe it was actually happening and weren't we concerned about racism. I recall frowning with genuine confusion. It wasn't as though John had ever been one to over-dramatise, that always fell to his wife, Lucy, and even as we had this conversation, she was frantically talking to her mother, advising her where the 'Meni...
Read full storyRebekah Brooks "No Witch" Says Expert
A leading witchcraft expert has urged that it's pointless to make former News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks the victim of a witch-hunt. Mrs Brooks was charged with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice yesterday in the News Internationa...
Read full storyLewis Is Back - Goes Up Against Bones
Fans of TV sleuthing have a difficult decision to make this evening as ITV's popular Oxford-set Lewis is back, clashing with Bones on Sky Living. Lewis and his brainy sidekick Hathaway have to solve the murder of an academic who had been wrestling...
Read full storyAborted baby: No big deal
Shanghai, China (SAPP) - Using a new technology developed in Huashan Hospital in Shanghai, China, researchers have shown conclusively that fetuses prefer abortion. After studying 3,666 fetuses, Dr. Tan Jun and fellow doctors in the abortion department of Huashan Hospital concluded that over 91% of them preferred abortion. During the grueling research, Dr. Tan and his team of experts designed a...
Read full storyChiswick In Close Shave With Nazi Jackboot
Chiswick had a run-in with Hitler's war machine yesterday and was only saved thanks to the quick thinking of a Yorkshire tourist and a classical musician. The terrifying incident happened around 1.30 pm as local office workers and pensioners were...
Read full storyDemocratic Presidential Campaign Strategy "Evolving"
Washington DC: VP Biden let the proverbial cat out of the bag when he said he's "absolutely comfortable" with gay couples who marry getting the same civil rights and liberties as heterosexual couples. This statement has led President Obama to reconsi...
Read full storyThe Oklahoma City Thunder Stomp The Los Angeles Lakers 119-90: Kobe Bryant Threatens To Have The Entire Lakers Team Traded
OKLAHOMA CITY - The Oklahoma City Thunder made the Los Angeles Lakers look more like The Johnny Appleseed High School Apple Pie Bakers as they clobbered the Left Coast bunch 119-90. After the game Kobe spoke with Sherwood Frisbee of Sports Balls I...
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