Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

image for Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea
Scene ofmdevastation from the flooded 1969 Chelsea Show

London - "It's bound to rattle the NewsCorpse Fragrant Redhead Garden," a whorticultural society groundsman said this morning as news of the weekend forecast broke.

"There's only so much washed out mugwort, poison ivy and wormwood the Show can take."

The comments echo widespread zodiac advice to stay away from the Chelsea Flower Show next week as atmospheric conditions turn for the worse.

Astrologers plotting the course of the year's two new moons in Gemini are also issuing a central London flood alert.

The Sun's entrance into the sign of the twins on Sunday is likely to trigger a huge overnight tropical storm as the full impact of the eclipse rattles the heavens.

And the dire cyclonics won't end there with a nasty eclipsed full moon on Monday 4th June, the climax of the Diamond Jubilee holiday weekend.

Most unusually a second Gemini new moon on 19 June
at the start of Royal Ascot is likely to put the kybosh up the daft annual shindig.

Alan Titchmarsh is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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