Russell Brand blasts Graham Norton for 'making my mum cry' over failed marriage to Katy Perry
Appearing on the Graham Norton show to promote new film Rock of Ages, Essex boy Russell Brand blasted the Irish chat show for making his mum cry, after Norton asked about the fellow comics failed marriage to singer Katy Perry. Brand said that Nort...
Read full storyiPhone 5 features leaked
The much anticipated iPhone 5 has to be special, with the rest of the smart phone market catching up to the Apple flagship and in some cases overtaking it. "We've been examining Apple patents," said Mac Buck, editor of App World! magazine. "For a...
Read full storyCheryl Cole goes G.A.Y.
Geordie Warbler Cheryl Cole turned up unannounced at G.A.Y. nightclub last night to promote her new musical offering, third album 'A Million Shites'. After threatening to kick door and toilet staff (allegedly - ed) with her silver ankle boots, the...
Read full storyTom Cruise's "Rock of Ages" Bombs and Sinks At The Box Office Quicker That A Canoe Loaded With Hippos
HOLLYWOOD - The producer, director, writers, and financial backers of the motion picture Rock of Ages are all shockingly stunned and scratching their collective heads and asking, what in the syncopated' world of musical scales happened? Ticket sal...
Read full storyBritney Spears to clone Osama bin Laden
At a news conference Britney Spears announced that she plans on cloning Osama bin Laden within five years. "I want bin Laden to be brought back to life because of the love letters he send me when I began my music career and now I want to have his...
Read full storyPension and Working Hour Issues Threaten Sex Workers Strike During Olympics!
The Home Office has vowed to intercede in a pending work stoppage during the Olympics as the Sex Workers Union (SWU) has threatened a 'Lay Out' during the August Influx of cash carrying tourists for the gala event heralded as a 'boom to the econom...
Read full storyCheryl Chats about Upcoming Tour
In October the music world is to be shocked as the greatest rock and roll mime act of all time is to hit our shores, with a show that will blow the hair off your balls. Cheryl Cole (we will have to refer to her like this because otherwise no-one has a clue who she is) will be strutting her stuff in energetic dance routines all over the country. Despite an obvious glitch in the tour managem...
Read full storySecond Gemini New Moon an eve-of-Solstice shocker
London - It's straddling the High Horse Nebula that first crossed Prince William's descendant when Diana demanded £100 million for an 'amicable' divorce split. The terribly rare, tragedy-tinged aspect now pops up this Tuesday as William readies t...
Read full storyMichigan Republicans Outlaw Vagina, Promise Armed Response
LANSING MI (AP) After a nationwide flurry of criticism over the Michigan legislature's silencing of two female lawmakers for using the word "vagina" during a floor debate, republican lawmakers are standing hard on their position that "vagina" is not...
Read full storyMaking Illegal immigrants Legal Angers Americans
El Presidente Barack Obama's recent vote whoring decision to grant amnesty to illegal immigrants has many Americans fuming and worried about not only the message that will send out to other potential illegal immigrants who may now arrive in the US, k...
Read full storyPlan to Send Illegal Immigrants Home Gets Boost
Residents of Portland, Oregon are backing the Police Department and Mayor in their drive to send illegal immigrants packing and back to where they belong. Mayor Alvin Bostock told a Town hall meeting, packed with concerned residents, worried about...
Read full storyObama opens Presidential election to all of Mexico
Washington DC - Deputy White House Press Secretary, Alfonzo Alamoso Arogola Rodriquez Somafeliea, announced today that all Mexicans would be able to participate in the Presidential election by remote ballot. As an added bonus for those who parti...
Read full storyBanks push for entitlement reform
Washington DC - Lobbyists around the capital are pushing the Congress to enact new legislation to curb what they see is an attitude of blatant entitlement. According to our source, Representative Crass Raftgay, banks want to put an end to entitl...
Read full storyIllegal Immigrant is Prison's 1,000,000th Inmate - Wins Car and Citizenship
California's Department of Corrections has given away a new Dodge Caravan to a prisoner in Sacramento who became a prisons millionth inmate this weekend. Jose Guillermo, who was arraigned Saturday after being arrested for shoplifting, was delight...
Read full storyNew flavours of crisps to hit the shelves
Blumenthal crisps are set to push the boundaries of crisp (potato chip)manufacturer in the coming weeks as they launch their "Why didn't somebody think of this sooner" crisps. "The last major innovation in crisp flavours was tomato sauce," said He...
Read full storyRed Sox Pitcher Jon Lester Misses the Sign to Swing for the Caramel
Sign language is difficult, especially if you are a pitcher and the third base coach is tossing a bunch of bizarre hand gestures your way. Most pitchers know only a couple of finger movements. A recent Boston commercial for a local coffee chai...
Read full storyOther Mother's Day for transgendered fathers on Father's Day
Traditionally on Father's Day, there is one subset of Father's who do not joyfully open up a card that tells them that for one day they can be the boss before handing the title back to their wife, nor do they get a little present of beer, beans or be...
Read full storyRajon Rondo of The Boston Celtics Asks To Be Traded
BOSTON - The Revolutionary War town of Boston is still upset that its round ballers, the Boston Celtics got eliminated in the NBA Eastern Conference Championship series 4 games to 3. Dottie Bazooka, female reporter with Sports Balls Illustrated We...
Read full storyGiant Crab Nicknamed Crabzilla Spotted In Rome, Italy's Sewer System
ROME - Japan has Godzilla, the United States has Sasquatch, Scotland has the Loch Ness Monster, and England has Gordon Ramsay. But up until now Italy was a monsterless nation known primarily for its wine, pizza, the Colosseum, the Alps, Venice, th...
Read full storyThe Zeta drug cartel strike with lethal vengeance
The Zeta drug cartel is taking responsibility for the lethal attack on a California pastor who died Tuesday after a battle with necotizing fasciitis- commonly referred to as "flesh-eating bacteria." Mitt Romney said he has no plans on interfearing...
Read full storyDemi Moore's Daughter Rumer Willis Admits She Is Infatuated With Ashton Kutcher
LOS ANGELES - Ashton Kutcher is not denying the fact that he and Rumer Willis, the 23-year-old daughter of his ex-wife Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, recently took a trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to get away from the fast lane life of Tinsel Town...
Read full storyShame of Wal Mart Greeter
A Wal Mart greeter was forced to resign her position yesterday due to her inability to greet. Delores Large, 65, who has an eating disorder known as "greed" and a personality disorder, commonly known as "an attitude problem" had been employed...
Read full storyGreece votes to manufacture own Euros
Athens - Greece has voted to print the Euro locally. According to our source, Mr. Pimpleonhishass, head of the Greek bank, the measure adopted will have Greece create money out of nothing. Greece will not return to the Drachma, but continue with the...
Read full storyVerity Warbling-Trollblog Suspended By SEN - Cheryl Cole And Tulisa Complain Vehemently To UN
In an unprecedented move, British pop stars, Cheryl Cole and Tulisa Contostavlos have lodged a formal complaint at the UN in New York, following the shocking revelation that gossip columnist, Verity Warbling-Trollblog has been suspended by the Skoob...
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