Written by Evil

Sunday, 17 June 2012

image for Britney Spears to clone Osama bin Laden
"I'm happy with my daughter's decision to find love," said Spears' father.

At a news conference Britney Spears announced that she plans on cloning Osama bin Laden within five years.

"I want bin Laden to be brought back to life because of the love letters he send me when I began my music career and now I want to have his children," said Spears.

Spears froze some of her eggs, so that bin Laden can fertilize them in the future and she can have the children through surrogate mothers.

Osama bin Laden will likely be cloned, according to scientists who have been working with Britney Spears on the project.

Britney Spears has donated $2.1 million towards the project to clone bin Laden.

"I wanted to ensure that my donation would be used immediately to meet the needs of the scientist involved in the Clone bin Laden Project," she said Friday in a statement.

They have just recovered well-preserved DNA from a tooth that bin Laden had removed two years before his death. The tooth was in care of one of his wives and was purchased by Spears for $200,000.

Japan's Kyodo News first reported the find of the tooth. The molar tooth is now being preserved in the laboratory where the project is taking place.

Scientist Stephen Hawking, acting director of the Clone bin Laden Project, and colleagues are now analyzing the method, which they plan to use to develop a bin Laden embryo.

Hawking and his team, along with colleagues from Japan's Kinki University, have announced that they will launch the first stage of embryo development next year aimed at re-creating the body of Osama bin Laden, who passed away May 2, 2011.

Osama bin Laden used to be a common sight on the landscape of North Africa and Saudi Arabia. One of Spears' favorite magazines of recent months depicted the earliest-known photos of bin Laden from Saudi Arabia when he was a rebellious university student.

The key to cloning Osama bin Laden is to replace the nuclei of egg cells from an Arab woman with those extracted from the tooth cells of bin Laden. Doing this, according to the researchers, can result in embryos with bin Laden DNA.

Dr. Lionel J. Dawson who is an expert in goat husbandry informed Celebrity Entertainment Magazine that bin Laden was a well endowed buck and during the Arab breeding season he was very romantic with his herd of Arab wives while they were in estrus. Dr. Dawson is sure that the bin Laden embryos will produce virile offspring.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Britney Spears

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