Demi Moore's Daughter Rumer Willis Admits She Is Infatuated With Ashton Kutcher

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 17 June 2012

image for Demi Moore's Daughter Rumer Willis Admits She Is Infatuated With Ashton Kutcher
A photo of "Chico" the donkey that Ashton wanted to buy for Rumer. (Photo by El Niño).

LOS ANGELES - Ashton Kutcher is not denying the fact that he and Rumer Willis, the 23-year-old daughter of his ex-wife Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, recently took a trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to get away from the fast lane life of Tinsel Town.

Kutcher confided to Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that the two checked into The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino and that they did spend some time frolicking by the inside pool as well as on the pristine beach.

But Ashton wanted it made perfectly clear that not once did he use the "L" word. He did reveal that Rumer did use the "L" word at least 17 times during their four day and four night stay.

Kutcher, who replaced Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen on the hit comedy show Two and A Half Men, was asked about him and Rumer being seen at Cabo's Fighting Toro Diner, where the two were observed playing footsie, kneesie, and kissy-kissy.

Ashton admitted that the couple did engage in some innocent footsey and some sophomoric kneesie, but emphasized that they did not participate in any kissy-kissy.

Kutcher disclosed that he bought Rumer several souvenirs including a pair of very expensive maracas that once reportedly belonged to the Mexican bandit Pancho Villa.

He also bought Rumer a painting by the world famous artist McCracken F. Dippergiggle, III, depicting the famous rookie Mexican matador Lorenzo "El Taquito" De La Piñata, 22, getting gored in his writing hand by the infamous toro Senor T-Bone.

Ashton wanted to buy Rumer a real live burro but he was told by a Puffy Taco Resort & Casino maid who went along with them as an interpreter that the burro shots were going to cost $935.

He also noted that the burro would have had to have been quarantined in San Diego for 45 days.

Miss Vermicelli asked Rumer if she had fun in Mexico. She said that she did and added that parts of Cabo San Lucas reminded her of East L.A., La Habra, La Brea, and Hacienda Heights.

She was asked what she thought about Ashton. Rumer blushed and said that she cannot help herself and is totally infatuated with A-Kut, as she affectionately calls him.

Rumer giggled a bunch and told Miss V that she has never been with a guy who made her feel as if she was Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston all rolled into one.

Miss V asked her what she especially liked about Ashton. She giggled a lot more and said that she likes his sense of humor, his smile, his dimples, but most of all she likes his (blank) and his (blanks).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Pancho Villa maracas that Ashton bought for Rumer are authentic and are listed in Mexico's Libro Azul de Recuerdos (Blue Book of Souvenirs) as being valued at $3,817.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more