79 Year Old Cat Lady Climbs Giant Oak and Refuses to Come Down
A 79 year old grandmother, known locally as the Cat Lady because of her habit of taking in thousands of homeless cats over the years, has climbed a giant Oak tree in her front yard and has refused to come down. Neighbors say that Mrs. Gloria Fel...
Read full storyGod pees against lamp-post
God was seen cocking His leg up alongside another lamp-post in a Gateshead housing estate. This is the sixth time this week that witnesses have seen God urinating against lamp-posts. Voices upon high tell us that God has nothing against lamp-p...
Read full storyThings in Egypt Looking Very Ugly Says Recently Returned Visitor From Cairo
A Florida man, recently returned from a vacation to Egypt, says that things in Egypt, and especially in the capital city Cairo, are looking "ugly". Dave Capeshdi from Palm Beach county claims he was shocked at some of the things he saw on the stre...
Read full storyPrincess' Pregnancy Pissing off Paupers
As the joyous, wonderful, life-affirming and hugely significant news broke of the Duchess of Cambridge's pregnancy, it emerged soon after that the general public really could not give a flying fuck. Or a grounded one for that matter. Media coverag...
Read full storySir Cliff Richard Extremely Anxious After Misreading Headlines
The Dorian Grey of pop, Sir Cliff Richard, was being comforted by friends today after he mistakenly misread news headlines emanating from the United States. The bronzed singer was said to have been shaken. The drama unfolded at around noon local...
Read full storyBogus war hero sentenced to 30 days
A man who embellished his military record to appear as a highly-decorated war hero has been sentenced to 30 days in federal prison, authorities said. Paul Haslam, 45, of San Diego, was convicted of altering a military or naval discharge certificat...
Read full storyPermanently Sexually Aroused Man Advised To Visit Georgia
A man recently profiled in the media about his rare sexual disorder - a condition that caused him to be continuously sexually aroused - has been advised by experts to spend a few days in the US State of Georgia. Graham Cooper, 39, has struggled wi...
Read full storyBritish Lords Promise Enquiry Into Child Porn
The British House of Lords have promised a full and complete investigation into the availability of child pornography within the United Kingdom. Lord Cock of Dumbshire announced "It is simply appalling. It is totally unacceptable. I find is simpl...
Read full storyBalotelli booed, battered and Borussia-d off!
After being involved in Man City's dreadful exhibition of anti-football played by a bunch of multi-millionaire cheats, Signor Balotelli, innocently, was booed off of the Dortmund pitch by 86000 laughing, happy Germans (unusual occurrence; apart from...
Read full storyTeenage Granddaughter's Tattoo Mars Christmas Festivities
72 year old Mary MCDonnell is dreading the Christmas holidays this year. For the first time in 19 years she finds no delight in decorating the tree, writing out Christmas cards and planning menus. It is a McDonnell family tradition that Mary's so...
Read full storyRajon Rondo Hunts for The Treasure of Sierra Madre
Rajon Rondo announced to the Boston media that he spent his suspension time in Mexico. Skeptics among the press wanted to toss a sombrero at Rondo and ask him to do the Mexican hat dance. Others expressed disbelief that he flew across the conti...
Read full storyEnglish Workers in Austrian Cheese Terror
"I think they did it on purpose. They knew what it was and I should have guessed something was wrong when the shop girls started to snigger and point at me. They didn't warn me." Speaking on condition of anonymity and asking to be referred to as...
Read full storyFirst Leaked Topless Ultrasound Image of Future Monarch Published By Italian Magazine
An Italian magazine says it has no regrets after publishing nude photographs or Kate Middleton's unborn baby. The magazine "Il Surrendi" published images they claim are ultrasound photos of the future monarch "topless" and lounging around on his o...
Read full storyAnti Porn group make their own Movies
A group in California have started to make what they are calling Anti Porn movies featuring scenarios that are common to adult movies but that end up in wholesome activities. The films are being distributed via a website and at the moment there...
Read full storyKate's Spew on eBay
Specimens of the Duchess of Cambridge's (formerly Kate Middleton) vomitus have been smuggled out of hospital and are now finding their way onto the eBay auction website. Princess Catharine has been recently hospitalised due to extreme hyperemesi...
Read full storyAirbus pilot left behind - nobody noticed
Philip Entwistle, a pilot for the budget airline Budgie Air, was left behind at Newcastle Airport yesterday when his plane left without him. "To be fair," said Entwistle, "pilots don't do very much any more. We're mainly there for insurance purpos...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney and Stacy Keibler To Star In The Vampire Birthers
HOLLYWOOD - Omnigate Films in association with Gladiator Pictures has just announced that Bellanino Terrabini's film The Vampire Birthers will begin production after Christmas. Clooney speaking with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight stated th...
Read full storyRihanna and Chris Brown To Tie The Knot
MANHATTAN - In a move that has to go down as one of the most unbelievable of the year, Rihanna has just announced that she and her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown will be getting married on January 1, 2013. Brown who used the Barbadian beauty as a punchi...
Read full storySan Francisco to Open First LGBT SPCA
San Francisco, CA - now that the Presidential election is over and once again, Democrats will get another kick at the can, certain programs, such as the one proposed by the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transexual SPCA might stand a better...
Read full storyLeague Managers Association Makes Surprise Offer to Abramovich
In an attempt to instil some sanity back into his ailing football club's affairs, the League Managers Association has made an astonishing offer to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. The association has offered the services of all its members on a month...
Read full storyBBC On Forthcoming Rowling Series
Investigative Journal "Wegos Where Egos" put a series of questions to a top CEO of the newly restructured BBC concerning their intention to turn the ill-fated Casual Vacancy allegedly written by J.K. Rowling into a TV series. For legal reasons we are not permitted to print the questions that were asked but after much debate with Rowling's legal team we were permitted to print the answers which...
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