San Francisco to Open First LGBT SPCA

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

image for San Francisco to Open First LGBT SPCA
"Gay animals get a leg up."

San Francisco, CA - now that the Presidential election is over and once again, Democrats will get another kick at the can, certain programs, such as the one proposed by the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transexual SPCA might stand a better shot at becoming an actual service.

Nina Lavale is the head of the organization that plans to splinter off from its regular SPCA program and start a separate program for bisexual poodles and transgender Chihuahuas which find themselves without a home. " These poor animals deserve the same rights as all the other animals that need a home and we feel that their plight is not being represented properly." Told Lavale.

Lavale and others, whom had brought the issue before city hall, pushed hard but narrowly missed getting the program on to the list of State ballot measures. However, they still see the new California super majority of Democrats as a very good sign that their project will get the green light for funding.

Nina Lavale explained further, "If Romney and the Republicans had of gained control, our organization would have been dead in the water, for not only do they seem to believe that there is no such thing as a gay poodle but they would be totally unwilling to fund our organization because we preform abortions when a pregnancy has been determined to be caused by a sexual assault."

Indeed, there has been push back from GOP and Tea Party members who say that funding projects like this is just a step to far at this time, although these parties are now starting to see that they don't have a hope in hell of occupying the White House anytime soon, without considering gay rights for humans.

"That those same rights might apply for our pets?" Questioned Tom Huckleberry (R-TX). "That might still be a few generations away." He said regarding the issue.

Lavale sees many parallels, which are reminiscent of her own experiences, growing up as a gay woman. "This is just the way it was for us pre-Ellen. "Jokes Lavale. "These dogs and cats are stuck in the early eighties. Lavale had even gone as far as to contact the star talk-show host and gay rights icon, to see if she would lend her voice to the cause. Lavale was repeatedly told by representatives that Ellen was; "too busy to participate." She explained.

"Still, she [Ellen] was very interested in knowing just how we could pick the gay poodle out of the crowd when they come in the door." To which Lavale explains that when you've been working with animals as long as she has, you just know.

The project is currently looking for sites that would work to house the animals and although Mrs. Lavale states that they are not necessarily looking for adoptive parents that are strictly LGBT themselves, she does think that there is a level of understanding that might make pairing these gay animals with like-minded parents easier.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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