Anonymous UK Hack Skoob1999's Spoof Account
UK based spoofer and serial idiot, Skoob1999 was delighted to learn today that hacking group, Anonymous UK have hacked his Spoof account. Skoob, wobbling a bit as a result of Sunday's football results and a tad too much of premium strength Belgian...
Read full storyMy week as a woman - day one
I learned one very important lesson in this particular week: never make a bet with your wife when she's in a bad mood. Firstly, wives do not make a bet with their husband unless they are one hundred percent certain of winning, and secondly, they can be very, very (very) vindictive. First up, I am six foot two inches tall, balding of head and hair sprouting of body. I take size eleven shoes, and...
Read full storyTitanic Memorial Cruise Hits Iceberg
It was meant to commemorate the voyage of the famous ship that went down in the North Atlantic one hundred years ago. It did, and in doing so, it met the same fate. Every detail was recreated exactly, from the route taken, to the numbers of pas...
Read full storySuper Mario - Red Card - Game Over
It looks like it's finally 'game over' for Super Mario Balotelli, following his disgraceful and petulant red carded display at the Emirates during Manchester City's Premiership aspiration destroying defeat. Informed speculators have apparently con...
Read full storyThe Battle of Broken Oar
In an amazing conflict between the Elite Oxford Eight and the Top Cambridge Crew, at a fight now known as The Battle of Broken Oar, Cambridge came out as victors. A passing swimmer had stopped the Battle in an effort to introduce a conciliation pr...
Read full storyManchester City Crowned As Champions At Last!
Confirmation came through from the Emirates today, that Manchester City are officially the new Premier League Champions, following their dramatic 0-1 capitulation to the Arsenal. City were crowned champions by Sheikh Mansour himself, who has finan...
Read full storySkipton man hair-lifted to hospital
Craven helicopter service made a dramatic rescue of a long-haired fell-runner on Wild Boar Fell this weekend. 65-year-old Bob Dylan was nearing the top of the Fell and was within a hair's breadth of beating his personal best time of 29 minutes.
Read full storyBarking dame slams coalition government of pedigree chums
London - An Isle of Dogs primogeniture expert and part-time Scruffs canine championships judge has rubbished the rough mongrels masquerading as members of the Cabinet. "Bl**dy dog's dinner of pedigree chums," Dame Fifi Rottweiler tweeted this morn...
Read full storyEuropean legislation on baby naming to be introduced to the UK
Parents in the UK may be unaware, but there is an official list of illegal baby names in use in the rest of Europe. Germany has an official baby naming bureau that has the final say on names, whilst there is an eighty-page handbook in use in Portugal...
Read full storyFundshaft hires Bubblebath-Heggerty
According to Porter economic theory companies can compete in two ways - price leadership or product differentiation. Unlike Primark where you can buy a suit for £29, fund managers are traditionally coy about disclosing all their charges, lest the cus...
Read full storyOh! Canada & Miss Universe
VANCOUVER, BC --- Jenna Talackova, a transgender woman, is vying to represent Canada in the Ms. Universe Contest. She was temporarily disqualified by Donald Trump whose company owns the Ms. Universe Pageant because she was not a 'natural born female.
Read full storySarah Jane Adventures to have a new series, without Sarah Jane
The very popular Sarah Jane Adventures that screened on CBBC for four series is to return for a fifth and controversial sixth series. Three episodes of the fifth series were completed before Elisabeth Sladen, who played Sarah Jane Smith, fell ill...
Read full storyThe Man of 1000 Excuses: Josh Beckett
Josh Beckett may be reaching for more excuses than you can find zeros in a multi-million dollar paycheck. In case your math is a little off because your own paycheck does not hit the comma button too often, that's a good half dozen reasons in the...
Read full storyTeaching - "Like the man in 'The Scream' by Munch"
A poll by 'YouBruv' has indicated that most teachers strike just for a few days 'breathing space' away from their academies. One teacher felt he was like 'the man in The Scream'. Supply teacher is now one of the most dangerous occupation in the UK...
Read full storyFrench Plumber Claims To Be Hitler's Love Child.
A French plumber has come forward with the incredible claim that he is the illegitimate son of the wartime Nazi Germany leader, Adolf Hitler. Monsieur Jean-Claude Courgette, who is 68 years old, has told family members and close friends that he...
Read full storyFather Goose Reportedly Back In Picture
BOSTON--Sources close to the family are reporting that Father Goose, who left to go get breadcrumbs six years ago and didn't return, is finally back in the picture. "We couldn't be happier!" exclaimed Mother Goose, author of such classic children'...
Read full storyLocal Man Goes Mad - Buys 76 Pairs Of Shoes That Don't Fit
Titchfield - Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a former Dorking resident and unemployed pipe bender, today apparently went a bit mad, following a sudden rush of blood to the head, and went on a shopping trip he could ill afford, returning three hours la...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 8th April 2012
Monday 2nd April: * No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, one has occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. Or not. (I think) Tuesday 3rd April: * Hobbled to the QMC for weekly...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments
Monday 2nd April: Topic: Parking Levy "Workplace Parking Levy begins in Nottingham" Source: BBC News A levy which charges employers for their staff to park at work has begun in Nottingham. Employers with 11 or more parking spaces now have to pay Nottingham City Council £288 a year per space under the Workplace Parking Levy. Many employers have decided to pass on some or all of the c...
Read full storySelected Political News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments
Monday 2nd April: Topic: The economy "UK economy 'Showing signs of improvement!" Source: BBC News The UK economy has shown a few signs of improvement in the first three months of this year, the British Chambers of Commerce (BCC) has said. The latest quarterly economic survey by the business lobby said that domestic orders and exports were all higher from the previous quarter.
Read full storyGlenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate
POCATELLO, Idaho - Glenn Beck was in Pocatello visiting one of the largest potato museums in the world, The Spud Land Museum & Gift Shop. He was accompanied by his 4-year-old niece Daisy Parpaletti, who looks just like him except she's a lot smaller, she's a girl, and she does not cry anywhere near as much as her uncle. Beck was asked by Mistletoe Bulova, a very pretty reporter with The...
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