My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 8th April 2012

Written by Inchcock

Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 8th April 2012
Friday: Back in again - but not for me this time, for my mate poor old Stewart!

Monday 2nd April:

* No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, one has occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. Or not. (I think)

Tuesday 3rd April:

* Hobbled to the QMC for weekly blood tests (INR Warfarin level) Got ticket, and sat with the others awaiting their ticket number to be called. I sifted through some advertising leaflets on the side-table, on for Nottingham Council Entertainments for June caught me eye, I picked it up, then realised I'd not got my reading glasses with me, so held it at arms length, moving it about to get the best of the light available. As I put it down in response to hearing my number called, I felt that every one was looking at me with furrowed brows and scowls! I went in and had the test done, and as I came out I saw the same leaflet with the other side face-up on the table - it read: "Lady boys of Bangkok, appearing at the Sabai Pavilion, Nottingham, NGM, NG1 2DT - book your ticket now! Dvd's of The Lady Boys of Bangkok can now be purchased at the venue".

* On the walk home, on Triumph Road, I came across a link of dog-poo that was actually green and white! Unless of course it was from a different animal like a fox?

* On getting home, naturally I had to visit the WC, to find I'd left the damned heater on again! - I'm really pissing myself off now!

Wednesday 4th April:

* Police cars, dogs, and ambulance woke me around 10:00pm last night - so I got up, visited the WC, made a cuppa, and got on the Spoof. Heard the police chopper overhead when I managed to find me hearing-aids around 1150hrs.

* Nipped to chemist to get my mate Stu's prescriptions... in the wind and rain. Came back in the snow and wind!

* Got the bus (bless um for that precious bus-pass!) into town. Purchased bleach, flannels, and shaving foam from the Pound Shop. Amazingly I rememebred I needed a new Hearing-aid decoker set! Went to the ATM for cash, then on to Hearing aid shop and got a set. As I came out of the shop on Wheeler Gate, a woman's umbrella joined so many others today in turning inside out due to the wind, she let go, and it hit me full in the mush as it gained speed flying away from her!

* As it kept changing from windy rain to windy snow, I hobbled back up to the bus stop nursing me new bruise as I went. Got the bus, got home, and for just once wished I'd left the heater on, as I tried to find a way of drying me soaking wet coat, hat, and bag out.

Thursday 5th April:

* Up at 0300hrs - Got a very welcome email 0330hrs. Searched for my reading glasses for ages, found them dropped behind the stack of medications, later, just in time to remind me about taking them. (the medications not the glasses, although of course I did take them, the glasses and put them on to see with, you see?)

* The coat and hat that got soaked yesterday are still not dry, so I had to out the heater on.

Friday 6th April:

* About 1030hrs I went over the road to see Margaret and Stewart, and after a few minutes poor old Stewart started bringing up tons of phlegm, saying he felt something blocking his throat. I got Margaret to ring and ask for advice. They said to go to Q&E. I took him there, and we joined the queue to sign in.

Then we joined the queue to wait for the doc.

Then we joined the queue to go for camera view of his throat.

Then we went up to ward C25, and waited for doc with camera.

Then we waited for results.

Then we were told, he was to be sent for x-ray, and to wait in the corridor for porter.

Then we were told Stew was to be kept in for monitoring!

I got him settled in ward bed, and gave him my number, promising to ring ward in am to see what's what.

Got bus into town (oh that marvellous bus pass!), and let Margaret know, and arranged to see her in morning to get things Stew needs so I can take them up to him.

Got home about 2030hrs.

Now. because I missed my midday and evening medications, I'm in pain!

Still, I feel good that I could be of use.

Saturday 7th April:

* Got up early potted about on the Spoof, did me ablutions, shaved, and carried out the carbolicalisation of me body.

* De-coked my hearing aids and ears.

* Stewart rang from QMC hospital - he's ready to be picked up!

* I went to QMC, searched for Ward C25, went to C floor, and saw sign for C52 and thought I must have suffered a Senior Moment earlier and got the number wrong!

I inquired of two nurses, and they told me the ward had been closed due to a super-bug thingy (can't remember the long name) for a week now.

I explained I took my mate into the ward yesterday with throat problems.

They both gave me a sympathetic look, smiled, and told me I was in the wrong wing, and gave me instructions on how to get there: Go back down here to the lift, go down to floor A, go right and right again, outside, across the road, into the Ears Nose & Throat doors, straight on to the second set of lifts on the left, up to C floor, out right into corridor, take the fifth turning on the right, and it's down there on your left. (I remembered this cause I wrote it down on the inside cover of me crossword book at the time).

Onward I went and amazingly found the ward C25 easily.

Finding Stewart, who I was worried might be concerned at my late arrival, being pampered by three nurses around his bedside!

Nothing was found to blocking his throat.

When I got him back, and he was soon back in bed - in his own home this time.

* I got home, then did a bit of shopping. Then put one of me 4 for a 99p Asda battered fish portion's in the oven, and caught up with me diaries on the Spoof.

* Then I threw away the burnt Asda battered fish portion.

Sunday 8th April:

* Up at 0230hrs thanks again to the angina. Went to WC, got a cuppa, and started Spoofing again, with difficulty - found my reading glasses under the chair at 0445hrs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more