Madonna And Hugh Hefner Agree To Not Get Nekid Together
Turn out the lights. The party is over. Aging gracefully in their own rights; Hefner, who reportedly is such a short-hitter that he doesn't even bother to disrobe while having sex, and Madonna, who some claim by using her bat-wings, can flutter aro...
Read full story"Bachelorette" Ali Fedotowsky's Fiancé Roberto Martinez Calls Off Their Wedding
SAN DIEGO - Roberto Martinez wants it known that the reason why he and his fiancée Ali Fedotowsky did not get married in July as they were supposed to do was his decision and not hers. The former baseball player and native of South Carolina told G...
Read full storySalmonella ring leader, Mr. Gobbles will be tried for terrorist acts
People are eating a healthier diet these days and have reduced the use of red meats. However, it also means increasing the use of lean meats such as fish, chicken and turkey. Since the popularity of switching hamburg meat to ground turkey, more and...
Read full storyLocal Man Gives All the Credit to Jesus after Polishing off Cheese Omelet
Libuse, La. - Mrs. Del Taylor remembers last Friday morning when, she says with a bit of nervous laughter, she discovered only four eggs and a small packet of grated American cheese in the refrigerator. Her husband Kenny was in the bathroom readying...
Read full storyDark Streaks on Mars Explained by Professor Stephen Hawking
Professor Stephen Hawking has given an answer to the question that every scientist on the planet has been asking for the last 24 hours. What are the dark streaks on Mars? The answer came in response to an e-mail that was sent to PH's Twitter sit...
Read full storyArsene Wenger wants to hire Joey Barton's smoking gun
Gunners' boss Arsene Wenger has turned up the heat on football fugitive Joey Barton. Rumours are circulating the North London underworld that 'Frenchie' Wenger has sent a Michael Caine lookalike up to Newcastle with instructions to "Get Joey."...
Read full storyShell gives Dyson contract to suck up its mess in Nigeria!
Oil giant Shell (they're Dutch by the way) has openly admitted that they spilt more oil in Nigeria than there is water in Lake Titicaca and have offered bagless vacuum cleaner giant, Dyson, the job of sucking the place dry. Dyson are developing gi...
Read full storyNew TV pet therapist claims psychic bond to animals
The Pet Netwerk is starting a new show called, "Dr Horney Pet Therapist". The show centers around Dr Horney who claims he can analyze and treat neurotic, unhappy animals and make them better. The "call in" show utilizes internet technology so the...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent: The African Dancers Zuma Zuma and L.A. Comedian Melissa Villasenor Move Onto The Semi-Finals
HOLLYWOOD - The Kinetic King had all of his dominoes, tongue depressors, Popsicle sticks, Lego's, Pop Tarts, playing cards, and Saltine Crackers confiscated and the producers of America's Got Talent bought him a Greyhound bus ticket back to St. Paul,...
Read full storyWorking on a French Farm
To be a woofer is to work on a French farm. The woofer is a person who volunteers on the farm in exchange for food and shelter. To woof is to be like a dog and, what is more, to work like one. The first day on the farm, my farmer Jaques looked me up and down with Gallic insoucience and asked, 'hey Irish, where do potatoes come from?' 'A shop' I replied. 'Stupid potato head, they come from the grou...
Read full storyMagnetic Bin Inventor Apologises to Rebekah Brooks
A entrepreneurial scientist has apologised to Rebekah Brooks after his latest invention got her into trouble with the police. The police were called in to investigate after a bin man found Rebekah Brooks' computer in the scientist's bin. Upon be...
Read full storyToo much moonshine!
Fans of stupid theories and implausible concepts are today celebrating as the origins debate rages on. Quacks at the California University have come up with yet another physics bending theory, that the Earth once had TWO moons which somehow collid...
Read full storyVegans in squalid Beefeater plot
London - An industrial tribunal heard today how seedy vegans attempted to oust the former Governor of the Tower of London from his prestigious Beefeater position. Major General Keith Cima described how 'enemies' in an anti-bullying investigation l...
Read full storySecret Shame of the NHS
It is the secret shame of the NHS, but they have a higher percentage of smokers than any other workforce in England. "The typical percentage of smokers in industry," said Minister for Health, Phil Hammond, "is about five percent. This includes typ...
Read full storySuperman blamed for super gonorrhea, Kent sought
The Center for Disease Control is investigating mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, who sometimes straps on a cape and claims to be Superman, of the planet Krypton, in connection with the spread of a new antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhea. "T...
Read full storyTexas Challenges the Obama Administration
Austin TX: Texas Republican Governor Rick Perry and the Texas Legislature sent President Obama a somber ultimatum concerning the latest pronouncement from the Environmental Protection agency (EPA). The current governor, the great-great grandson o...
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