Colonel Moammar Gadhafi Believed To Be Hiding In Ann Coulter's Guest House
YUMA, Arizona - GOP political pundit Ann Coulter was in Yuma speaking before a gathering of The Elderly GOPettes For a United Country (EGFUC). She talked about the fact that she really wasn't quite sure yet which of the two female candidates she d...
Read full storyHurricane Irene sinks Obama!
Hurricane Irene is causing havoc off of the east coast of America and if it unleashes it's terror inland it could well sink President Obama who doesn't really need another crisis to deal with. He has turned grey after inheriting Bush's mess, the f...
Read full storyJeter moves ahead of baseball legend Girardi with historic bunt
NEW YORK, New York--Manager Joe Girardi claims he wasn't aware of the historical implications of a managerial move he made Tuesday night in a 6-5 loss to the Oakland A's. With none out in the 9th and two on base, Girardi called on the all-time Yan...
Read full storyPetra Ecclestone's Tea Party Wedding & Diamond Planet Ring
The Republican Tea Party just about drove the world economy into a massive depression from which there was no escape in order to protect billionaires, trillionaires and mega gazillionaires like 22 year old Petra Ecclestone from a 3% rise in taxes. Do...
Read full storyBritish Government's Anti-Obesity Measures Revealed!
Tougher action is to be taken by the government to tackle the problem of obesity in Britain. Removing unnecessary packaging from unhealthy junk foods by the supermarkets, part of the governments determined efforts to see a significant reduction in Br...
Read full storyWest Ham Look Forward
As we go into the Bank Holiday weekend, free of the fear of sunburn, West Ham United look forward to another away game. Plagued by attacks from Tottenham on West Ham's move to the Olympic stadium, Hammers supporters - mindful of the riots in Totte...
Read full storyOMG! The crop circle's just swallowed our camper van!!
Wiltshire - "It was like a Guatemalan sink hole had suddenly gorged itself on our lovely 1966 Airstream Overlander International," distraught US sightseer Joyce Hooley told reporters today. "One minute it was right there where we'd parked it and t...
Read full storyKaiser Chief's "Riot" song gets rapped by the Police Chiefs
The Kaiser Chiefs have caused, er, a riot, having decided to reissue their hit song "I predict a riot". As a result of recent events in the capital, not to mention Birmingham, Manchester and Bristol (oops sorry, have just mentioned Birmingham, Man...
Read full storyNASA Advice On Avoiding Visit By Klaatu And Gort
Earth civilization had better clean up its act if we want to avoid a visit from the galactic police! Scientists at NASA claim that reducing our carbon emissions could prevent a pre-emptive alien attack - similar to the one portrayed in classic mov...
Read full storyBoard votes 9-0 not to add f**king Chinese to Academy's foreign language offerings
HARFOLD, Vermont--By a unanimous vote of 9-0, Harfold Academy's school board decided not to add Chinese to the Academy's offerings of French and Spanish, issuing a statement that, "The fucking Chinese killed this town." Virtually all topics discus...
Read full storyA Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public
Leaving their decision to the 11th Hour the police have announced a controversial compromise over one of the world's most famous street parties, the Notting Hill Carnival. This year the event will be closed off to the public but in order to allow the...
Read full storyMan U make Champions League group stage draw-master top seed for knock-out phase draw
Manchester United have confirmed they will be making the man who presided over the draw for the Champions League group stage, their top seed to take the reigns for the draw for the knock-out phase of this years competition. Officials for the Premi...
Read full storyHugh Hefner Sends 100 Playboy Bunnies to Lure Colonel Gadaffi Out of Hiding
In a daring move to smoke out Gadaffi, who since the fall of Tripoli has gone into hiding, the new government of Libya has accepted help from the Playboy Mansions and the generosity of its owner Hugh Hefner. 100 Playboys Bunnies are currently mak...
Read full storyCommuters face "winter of discontent"
Commuters on the popular Ninky-nonk line are today facing a winter of discontent, as the line is suspended for several weeks over safety concerns. A spokesman described the problem as "spacial instability" and said the closure may well become permane...
Read full storyGaddafi In Need Of A Hiding
Common ground has been reached between rebels and supporters of missing Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, with both sides agreeing that he is in need of a hiding. A temporary ceasefire was called over the misunderstanding, with Gaddafi's supporters...
Read full storyEngland Win At Not Playing Cricket
In recent tests England have thrashed opponents, in a crucial loss to the gentleman's game. Not Cricket England invented cricket in the late-nineteenth century. The game became popular in the colonies. Historically in matches against its coloni...
Read full storyEdward from Jedward to become a woman
In a conversation inside the Big Brother house on Channel 5, Edward, from Jedward, has candidly admitted to the other house-mates that he wants to have a sex change. This was news to his brother. "Jedward are going to Thailand," said Edward, after...
Read full storyCurrent Heat Wave Has Unprecedented Consequences
Authorities across the state of Texas are becoming increasingly concerned by the alarming number of occurrences of spontaneous combustion. While the process of objects bursting into flames in the absence of a source for ignition is scientifically co...
Read full story"Son of N!xau" Being Groomed for 'The Gods Must Be Crazy (Part VI)'
(Entertainment Weakly, Hollywood) - Eight years after his poor dad's death, Z!xau, son of Namibian bush-farmer-turned-actor-turned-bush-farmer, N!xau, has shown interest in picking up where his late father left off. Our reporter in the bush submit...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Gets Her Sarcastic Butt 'Verbally' Kicked By A Female Reporter
LA BREA - Kathy Griffin the star of My Life on The D List recently had an appointment with her gynecologist Dr. Duffy F. Elderfunk. Dr. Elderfunk has an office located two blocks from the famed La Brea Tar Pits. Griffin had gone in to get a cop...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Responds To The Taylor Lautner Rumor
HOLLYWOOD - Vanessa Hudgens the star of The High School Musical movies was recently spotted in a Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader outfit having her picture taken on the Hollywood Walk of Fame kneeling by the star of noted film star Zasu Pitts. Hudge...
Read full storyArsenal Fans Hit Back At Nasri And Fabregas Jibes
Arsenal fans were up in arms today, as former Gunners, Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas attributed part of their reason for parting company with the North London club was a lack of atmosphere and enthusiasm from the fans at the Emirates Stadium. "It...
Read full storyAmerica runs on Dunkin'? "Bullshit!" says Trucker
HARFOLD, Vermont-Elwood "Elmer" Edwards requires very little while on the job. With country music favorites queued up on his iPod, once Edwards pulls onto an Interstate and shifts his 18-wheeler into high gear, he only needs one hand to steer, and th...
Read full storyAvian Ecologists Challenge Green Energy Advocates
Sacramento CA: Large wind farms in the Golden State employ upwards of 5,000 wind turbines to generate green electricity. These turbines have been killing federally protected raptors (hawks and eagles), as the birds fly into the windmill blades and ar...
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