Petra Ecclestone's Tea Party Wedding & Diamond Planet Ring

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Friday, 26 August 2011

image for Petra Ecclestone's Tea Party Wedding & Diamond Planet Ring

The Republican Tea Party just about drove the world economy into a massive depression from which there was no escape in order to protect billionaires, trillionaires and mega gazillionaires like 22 year old Petra Ecclestone from a 3% rise in taxes. Does Petra Ecclestone own the Republican Tea Party or is that the Koch Brothers, the latest sensation from Vivid Entertainment?

Petra Ecclestone is the 22 year old daughter of Bernie Ecclestone and Slavica Ecclestone. Bernie Ecclestone is the gazillionaire owner of the Grecian Formula One Racing Empire and Slavica Ecclestone is a former Croatian model. Recently Petra Ecclestone bought the most expensive house in America, Candy Spelling's House for $85 Million dollars.

Petra Ecclestone needed another house because her $75 Million house in London is being renovated. Now she is gutting Candy Spelling's house and renovating it. What with the marriage of Will and Kate and Kim and Kris and Hurricane Irene the Tea Party Wedding this weekend of Petra Ecclestone in Italy is not quite garnering the sufficient amount of world wide attention it deserves.

A few years ago Bill Clinton had us in a surplus; that's right, there was no deficit. Then, Republican President W. decided to lower the tax rate on billionaires by 3% and go to war in Iraq and Afghanistan. As Donald Trump said, the US forgot to take the oil; W. forgot to plunder. Then, in 2008 the US deficit got so high that W. the Republican President threatened the Congress that if they didn't pass TARP immediately he would declare martial law and turn the US into a fascist dictatorship. It's on

Candy Spelling's house in LA has a 100 car garage. If the Republican Tea Party does not hold the line on the 3% tax increase for trillionaires then Petra Ecclestone will be forced to exist with a mere 97 parking spots. Somehow (the Republicans own Fox News) the Republican Tea Party has managed to spread their propaganda that they are the party of the poor, despite saying in public that they will do away with social security, medicare and medicaid. Their lies are endless and obvious.

Today astronomers discovered a planet made of diamonds. Matthew Bailes of Swineburne University in Australia said "The evolutionary history and amazing density of the planet all suggest it is comprised of carbon, a massive diamond orbiting a neutron star every two hours in an orbit so tight (the orbit) it would fit inside our own Sun. Naturally Rupert Murdoch just had to buy the diamond planet ring for Petra Ecclestone's wedding gift in Italy tomorrow. Roger Clemens has been invited to throw out the first Somalian.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more