Mandelson has Post Office growth
A senior spokes person from the South Bemused Hospital For The Particularly Unwell, (SBHFTPU), today reported that Lord Mandelson was 'comfortable' and in 'high spirits' after it was revealed that he had a 'Post Office' like growth protruding from o...
Read full storyEngland Cricket Team Suffers From Bad Grammar In Mumbai
The England cricket team is, or 'are', facing enormous problems ahead of the One-Day Series against India, as, for the second time in 10 days, it was, or 'they were', depending on your grammar, skittled-out for less than, or 'fewer than', 100 runs in...
Read full storyAll Blacks to Sacrifice Live Pig against Irish
The New Zealand Rugby team the All Blacks is planning a live animal sacrifice as part of its pre-match Haka routine. Gutsy All Black half-back Piri Weepu will perform the blood curdling ritual in front of thousands of spectators at Dublin's Coyne...
Read full storyWizards Of Waverly Place casts it's final spell
The popular show, Wizards Of Waverly Place is filming it's last episode today due to fights within the cast. It's been revealed that since David Henrie (Justin Russo) started dating Miley Cyrus (Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana) fellow cast member an...
Read full storyJoe Kinnear Apologises Over 'Mickey Mouse Ref' Comment
Joe Kinnear, the outspoken Newcastle United manager, has apologised on the club's website about comments he made at the weekend when he called referee Martin Atkinson a 'Mickey Mouse ref'. The Magpies boss now believes the comments were "ill-advis...
Read full storyPresident-Elect Obama To Name GOP Ambassadors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a concerted effort to show his dedication to the ideal of bipartisanship, President-elect Barack Obama will be naming several well-known, high-profile Republicans to positions in his administration. An Obama insider has revea...
Read full storySelena Gomez Admits Dating Nick Jonas
NELENA FANS rejoice! Selena Gomez has finally admitted that she and Nick Jonas are dating! Selena said this when Tween Magazine asked her if she's dating anyone right now. She said, "Yes. I am and its Nick." This very direct answer has startled m...
Read full storyI was Jabba The Hutt's Body Double says Michael Moore
Controversial left wing journalist Michael Moore has revealed that he was the body double for Jabba the Hutt in the blockbuster Star Wars series. "Yes it's true" said Mr Moore speaking from a lunch date at Burger King. "George Lucas phoned me o...
Read full storyArcarola, Mississippi Man Eats His Own Toes
Hardin Wesley Snotgrass, 49, has suffered from a certain amount of post-traumatic stress ever since he fell head first into an unfinished outhouse hole back in 1976. Then, deeply falling in love with a mud turtle in 1977. Part of his debilitatio...
Read full storyWTF with the QE2 poppy shower?
The Solent - (Armistice Mess): In a surreal twist on the old whoretime confetti theme a WWII DeHavilland Split Beaver aircraft showered the departing QE2 with one million red paper poppies as the craft left Southampton docks for the last time enroute...
Read full storyCustomers now getting service at Home Store
One upside of the deteriorating economy -- customers are now receiving service at Home Store stores. We met Jane Turner in the parking lot of the Akron (OH) store; an employee was loading bags of sand and gutter downspouts into the back of her SU...
Read full storyNancy Reagan's Witch Doctor Puts Curse on Barack Obama
Obama's recently adopted mask of humility slipped as the black boy genius mocked poor decreit widow, Nancy Reagan for her interest in the paranormal during her husband's Presidency. Remembering that he had not yet been made emperor, Obama scurrie...
Read full storySarah Palin Declares Herself "Like, OK, God!"
Sarah Palin's megalomania appears pretty well established when you study her bio. As Mayor of Wasilla, she terrorized town staff from the Police of Chief( an Alaskan honorary title) to the town librarian. When she moved on to the Governor's mansion a...
Read full storyBlessed Virgin Mary Appears on Pointer's Pointer
An astute and spiritual reader of TheSpoof.com who apparently visits the haunts of Pointer with religious regularity was recently gazing at Pointer's pointer when it was noticed by the anonymous observer that an image that looked an awful lot like Mary, the Mother of God could be discerned after only two minutes of cross eyed staring. Thinking his eyes or his mind's eye may be playing tricks...
Read full storyFlu Season Is Here. Follow These Helpful Doctor Tips
Since the flu season is almost here, a survey of general practitioners have been consulted and the following recommendations are highly recommended for everyone, especially for the now older, softer candy-ass Baby Boomers: 1. If your child comes home from school all coughing, sweating and wheezing, immediately lock him in the attic or in the basement and feed him his food and pills through a...
Read full storySpoof Writer Agonizes Over Hottest Female Avatar
Choosing anonymity during his initial registration, new TheSpoof.com writer "Quincy Quicklust" spent weeks canvassing other writer's content in the hope of melding a writing style he could call his own. During several non-stop reading sessions,...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' cousin jealous at her popularity
The second cousin of Miley Cyrus is furious at all the fame and attention her relative is getting worldwide. Cindy Cyrus - who is the daughter of Miley's father's younger sister - lives in a trailer park in Mobil, Alabama with her collection of ca...
Read full storyCircuit City Stores to House Credit-crunch victims
Empty Circuit City stores will be converted into shelters to house families displaced by the credit-foreclosure crunch, the company announced today. The bankrupt electronics retailer has 36 exurban locations ideally situated for use by local families...
Read full storyMichael Jackson named Secretary Of State for US Shock!
In a surprise move, President elect Barack Obama has named Michael Jackson as the new Secretary of State. A spokeswoman for the incoming administration said that Jackson and Obama were old friends and that Jackson had contributed millions of dolla...
Read full storyMillions of cash strapped Americans incorporating as banks - a story of rags to riches
Wichita, Kansas - In order to cash in on all the free money the Federal Reserve and U.S. Dept. of the Treasury are giving out to banks and financial services co., millions of Americans are filing articles of incorporation (many S corp.) to become ban...
Read full storyThe NFL Kansas City Knockerinos
KANSAS CITY, Missouri - The Kansas City Chiefs organization is trying to figure out what to do in order to improve the team's dismal (1-8) record. One of the Kansas City team attorneys, Zachariah Beccadecki, noted that the Tennessee Titans are doi...
Read full storySir Cliff sues dementia charity because of music career slur
Sir Cliff Richard, one of the UK's most-loved, if not one of the oldest music swingers, with a music career and thousands of hits spanning three centuries, is livid with the director of the UK Dementia Society. In a statement issued today by an...
Read full storyAirline Inaugurates Chicken Run Flights
Capon, Ireland - No-frills airline Tonyair has vowed to be one of the last airlines flying the friendly skies after the global economic crisis and oil prices take their toll on the industry. In a move to cut costs, diversify markets and multitask,...
Read full storyHand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit
After a year of research into the antiseptic qualities of the typical over-the-counter, alcohol based hand sanitizer, researchers now admit that the ingredients in the sanitizer are no more effective than the spit from any mother's mouth. Side by...
Read full storyKKK (Koconut Krispy Kreme?)
JACKSONVILLE, Florida - The school board of General Nathan Bedford Forrest High School has voted to keep the school's name. The vote was taken after several African-Americans had protested the school's name saying that Forrest, who was a Civil Wa...
Read full storyMet' Chief 's £400,000 Pay-Off for Reign of Incompetence
A reported £400,000 golden handshake pay-off to outgoing Metropolitan Police Commissioner Ian Blair has been branded a 'disgrace', with the media speculating it may well be 'silence money' to dissuade Blair from writing his 'memoirs' and revealing th...
Read full storyBagpuss to join Facebook
Lazy-arsed old cloth cat Bagpuss has joined Facebook. Listed amongst his friends are Professor Yaffle, Madeline the Rag Doll, a number of Mice, Mr Benn, Scooby Doo and Shaggy, and Emily. H is hobbies are variously described as collecting dust,...
Read full storyThe Detroit Lions Are Leaving
DETROIT, Michigan - Detroit Lions owner William Clay Ford, Jr. thoroughly disgusted with his teams (38-14) loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars and (0-9) season record has decided to move his team. Ford told a sports reporter for The Detroit Light-Pos...
Read full storyDarth Vader's wish to wear more colour
In a brand new series of television treat, What not to wear, latest guest Darth Vader wishes he could wear more colour, as he feels black is too limiting a colour. Speaking to Trinny and Susanah the feared Sith Over-lord said: 'I do appreciate th...
Read full storyWacko Jacko appointed Secretary of State
It has ben announced in Washington today by President elect Barack Obama that controversial singer Michael Jackson has been appointed Secretary of State in Obama's cabinet. Press correspondents thought it was a typo error however White House offi...
Read full storyRoss takes blame for Hole in the Wall
Following his apology to Andrew Sachs, Jonathan Ross has fallen on his own sword, and also taken the blame for Hole in the Wall. Hole in the Wall, a Saturday Night entertainment fest hosted by Barbara Windsor's best friend Dale Winton is commonly...
Read full storyMichael Jackson baby-sat Obama's kids!
It has been revealed that Michael Jackson used to babysit the Obama girls Malia and Sasha. The Obamas would ask Jackson, a family friend, if he could mind the girls while they were busy attending Democratic politcal meetings. Jackson and Obama...
Read full story"Strictly" to become the new format for everything
In the wake of the Brand/Woss scandal the BBC has taken a bold decision to theme all new output on the successful "Strictly" format and have started with Strictly the News. The winning format involves a panel of over the top and previously unhea...
Read full storyGreens call for shaving ban
Following the Greens annual convention in Las Vegas, their somewhat clumsily named umbrella group, World Organisation for Believing in Better Living Environmental Solutions, or WOBBLES for short, issued a call to ban shaving. At a press conference...
Read full storyGordon Brown's 1990's "Courage: Eight Portraits" Plagiarized from JFK's 1960's "Profiles in Courage"
If courage means setting a truly original course that may bring opposition, Gordon Brown may have missed the boat and swam in the wrong direction. John Fitzgerald Kennedy, while Little Gordie Brown was still brown nosing in knickers, found heroes...
Read full storyObama No Longer First US Black President
Obama is no longer the first black president as he turned albino white today during his latest CIA briefing. Apparently the 'men in black' have been hiding some of the more disturbing secrets of the nation from the man who should really know them. N...
Read full storyPoetry of Sarah Palin
I SHOT AN ARROW I shot an arrow into the air it came down and pegged a hare. My rifle I shot so straight and true and brought me down a caribou. Moose when they see my trail they quake Ptarmigan their feathers shake. Full grown bears will turn and run when they see my Remington. The creatures know I'm somewhat prone to leave them dead, their brains...
Read full storySolid South Turns to Grits!
From the Civil War on, the South belonged to the Democrats out of pure hate for Lincoln and his Republican party. In '64, Lyndon Johnson knew that the Deomocrats support for the Civil rights would kill the solid south. Nixon too knew that Republicans...
Read full storyUgliest Political Team on Television in Halloween Romp
Police were called after CNN's "The Ugliest Political Team on Television" went out on a Halloween "Trick or Treat" romp which went spectacularly wrong. The team, led by The Littlest Hobo, Wolfie Blitzen, comprised "Candy" Crowley, Jeann "The" Moo...
Read full storyWolfie Blitzen is not a Hologram Shock
CNN is in disarray after it was discovered that Wolfie Blitzen is not a hologram. On US election night CNN used absurd gimmickry to attempt to breathe life into their pathetic "The Situation Room". At the end of the night they attempted to switch...
Read full storyAncient Incan Artifacts Found New Haven at University
In 1911 Machu Picchu was moved piece by piece to Yale University in New Haven, CT. Hiram Bingham packed and shipped the oldest Incan treasures of Peru to his alma mater. Yale, the only university to be founded with money from a lock company, has...
Read full storyVictoria Beckham has Brush with Carbohydrates
LOS ANGELES - Rail thin pop celebrity Victoria Beckham was rushed to Cedars-Sinai hospital over the weekend after a close brush with some carbohydrates. David Beckham said that while the couple has been through a lot together this gave them a "rig...
Read full storyI know from experience Joe Jonas is a good kisser
Well it was bound to happen sooner or later but someone has hit back at claims that Joe Jonas is a bad kisser, but no one expected it to be younger brother Nick who hit back. In an exclusive interview, Nick revealed "Joe and I have a different rel...
Read full storyNATO Wipes Out Kosovo Crops
Under the cold, clear skies of Kosovo there is a sense that the good times are coming back. The refugees are settling safely, a fledgling democracy is emerging and the raspberry vines are growing over the mass graves. But all is not sunshine and peace in this picturesque state nestled in the bullet riddled bosom of Europe. Inside the smoky taverneskas and around the rough hewn tables of the peasan...
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