Hardin Wesley Snotgrass, 49, has suffered from a certain amount of post-traumatic stress ever since he fell head first into an unfinished outhouse hole back in 1976. Then, deeply falling in love with a mud turtle in 1977.
Part of his debilitation includes a very severe loss of his memory and an increased inability to store recent memories and loss of drool-control.
Until this morning, this was never a major problem for Snotgrass, who lives with his mother Shellie Belle just outside Arcarola, Mississippi. However, waking at 5:53 AM, yesterday morning, Shellie Belle discovered her son had devoured every one of his toes, but one, on both feet.
"It was just plain disgusting. There was blood and gore all over his mouth and a big toe on the pillow by his head. His feet are in a right-tattered state right now and it's going to be a right pain in the arse to shop for shoes for the big shit. It would have been a whole sight better if he had eaten the little toes off too, then I could have just got the shoes a size smaller. It's only a good thang he hadn't got to his Goop-Goop" as he calls them and been able to bend his head very fer. Otherwise he'd have no danged dang nor danglers."
When asked how it would affect his life, Hardin Wesley complacently replied, "Goop-Goop!"
