Spoof Writer Agonizes Over Hottest Female Avatar

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

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Quicklust Stocks Up in Anticipation of an IRL Meeting

Choosing anonymity during his initial registration, new TheSpoof.com writer "Quincy Quicklust" spent weeks canvassing other writer's content in the hope of melding a writing style he could call his own.

During several non-stop reading sessions, he began to feel an immediate and powerful attraction with two particular female writers for TheSpoof.com satirical magazine. "It wasn't just the content" Quicklust tells reporters, "it was their avatars that really got me".

When queried on his inability to pick a single favorite, Quicklust quipped, "I was torn between someone spicy and sexy, and another who was curvaceous and classic. If I were to combine the quick witted and sometimes barbed sexual references from Carina-eta with the classic movie starlet picture in her avatar, I could imagine her turning me down at the pub 30 or 40 times with a few backhands to the face before she let me buy her a single pint." Quicklust says. "And as for the classic but whimsical oration from Queen Mudder coupled with her classic long lines and dramatic pose, I imagine her to be just as comfortable over a plank salmon dinner at Pescatore on Second as she would be at the Four Seasons. She would have to wear the basic black dress of course."

Critics asked how Quicklust intended to take the next step in a relationship with either or both of the celebrated writers, knowing the relationship itself was all a figment of Quicklust's imagination. He replied, "Perhaps the fantasy of being a boy toy to a strong woman, plus a rub and a tug are all I need."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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