Written by Spinningplates2

Monday, 19 May 2008

image for Chelsea Clinton blames Father for her looks
Chelsea Clinton after surgery

Louisville KY: When I saw the former (and possible future) first daughter being ushered into the Denny's where I was enjoying my Grand Slam Breakfast I never dreamed that she would end up sitting at the table next to my booth.

It was about 4:00 in the morning so the place was still not too busy.

I'll bet Chelsea never forgets the next few minutes and her bad luck to be seated next to the great city of Louisville newest gossip monger.

As soon as she sat down I hit her with my first question.

Reporter: You look drunk. Have you been drinking?

Chelsea: No, I'm just tired.

Reporter: Do you ever get mad at the Bush daughters because their not ugly?

Chelsea: No. I know that it's better to be smart then pretty.

Reporter: Was it smart for your mother to stay with your father after he raped that intern?

Chelsea: I think so, because she is really never going to attract another man, and she is not ready to come out of the closet yet.

Reporter: How come your father has gotten so much more ugly in the last eight years? Do you worry about getting that ugly?

Chelsea: I am a lot like my father in that respect, I see myself spending a fortune on plastic surgery in the near future and then giving up when I reach middle age.

Reporter: Do you ever wish you were average looking?

Chelsea: I have a few more operations planned so don't think I can't be average someday. No more questions. I just want to finish my waffle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more