Blind Man Regains Sight, Tears Eyes Out After Discovering Society Is Unjust

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 19 May 2008

image for Blind Man Regains Sight, Tears Eyes Out After Discovering Society Is Unjust
Or were they crochet needles?

A man who has been blind since childhood, and who regained his sight in a freakish accident, has now torn his eyes out after discovering that the world is such a horrible, immoral and corrupt place, according to a report.

The man, Reg Pilger, 36, from Bristol, had his power to see miraculously restored after receiving a knock on the head last Tuesday, but after experiencing only seven days of 'looking around', decided he was better off not being able to see after all, told everyone to stand well back, and promptly poked his own eyes out with knitting needles.

Pilger, blinded at age 6, after looking at The Sun for too long, told a reporter from the Bristol Herald he could stand being able to see no longer. Reporter Dave Bordon from the Herald said:

"I'd gone to interview him about regaining his sight. He told me he had been excited to see all the wonderful things he had been told about as a young boy, but alas, all he saw was corruption, violence, loathing, immorality inequality and suffering - a nation full of evil - and then he gouged his eyes out right in front of me."

Eyesight specialist Dr Jacob Conrad of St Pauls Hospital in the city, said:

"There's a lot of injustice in the world today - but not that much!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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