Scientists Predict End Of The Sun
At the University of Tooting in south London, scientists have at last confidently predicted when the Sun will vanish and the world will be plunged into darkness. And the shock is that it's sooner than you think. Are you prepared?...
Read full storyBNP rebranding 'successful'
The BNP claim they have successfully rebranded themselves as the New BNP, and are fiercely trying to market themselves in a positive way.
Read full storyNew Chewing Gum for Butt Holes
CHICAGO--The Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company (NYSE: WWY), a leading player in the candy market, is launching a new line of chewing gum for your stinky ass. JUICY BUNS & BUTT SAVERS! Part of the new "Fanny-Fresh" li...
Read full storyBoy George Sweeps Up Again
Eighties entertainer, outrageous homosexual & self made misfit Boy George has appeared in London's Trafalgar square dressed in orange overalls, a giant pink cowboy hat & a broom. It is thought, George real name George Alan O'Dowd was so sick...
Read full storyBush Proposes Solution to World Hunger
George Bush has launched a radical and controversial new campaign to fight global hunger.
Read full storyGeorge Bush's New Iraq Plan Includes McDonald's of Baghdad.
(Baghdad--Iraq) A little known part of President Bush's new plan for Iraq has the civil war torn country coming together under the Golden Arches by July of 2007, the scheduled opening date of the first "culturally sensitive" McDonald...
Read full storyNew World of Whorecraft online game launch
Silicon Valley - (Rioters): The newly expanded World of Whorecraft online game is being launched next week.
Read full storyNext Boy Band On Horizon'Weather' You Want One Or Not
Pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, has announced his latest project and it will certainly raise a few eyebrows.
Read full storyDog Convicted of making owner fat
Connie the Labrador has been sentenced to 3 years in prison at The Magistrates Court today for human cruelty today.
Read full storyWoman Arrested Over Talking Wheelie Bin Death
Picture a normal Tuesday in Hackney, West London. Bin day, and ageing granny Elsie Glockle, 79, is leading her wheelie bin out to the kerb for collection as usual.
Read full storyFire in New Orleans
A small fire happened in New Orleans and basically nobody cared. Samuel Michael Schildkraut spent some three and a half years in New Orleans and recalls, "As with many cities and towns, you'll meet some very nice people, but it was hard to f...
Read full storySaddam Hussein Kitchenware a Big Hit at Ikea
Ikea announced record Christmas profits yesterday and claimed that it was all due to their new Saddam Hussein kitchen range.
Read full storyComet McNaught portends royal disaster
London - (Riotous): As it blazes a trail across the London early evening sky Comet McNaught is playing havoc with the hordes of millennium soothsayers, seers and interpreters of the splayed regal intestines who predicted Hellfire Club glory in 2007 w...
Read full storyHarry Potter Demands Salary Comparable To Beckham
Boy wizard, Harry Potter, is reported to be digging his heels in over appearing in the last and final book of his trilogy.
Read full storyOfficial: Bush upset with Hussein video
WASHINGTON (QWERTY NEWS) -- President Bush was upset after watching the video of Saddam Hussein's execution, comparing it to other films he has watched from the comfort of his home movie theater in his Crawford Texas Ranch, White House officials...
Read full storyBeckham demands wages in coins
It has been revealed today that David Beckham, model, media icon, girl magnet & part-time sports personality has written a clause into his contract at LA Galaxy so that his wages of £128m over five years, will be given to him in cash...
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother introduces 'Vaginaview'
Celebrity Big Brother revealed their latest twist today with the introduction of 'Vaginaview' and critics are hailing it as the ultimate in reality TV.
Read full storyFoxtrot Oscar Over And Out!
Proud mum, Doreen Whitesnake, is claiming that her son Oscar is nothing short of a child prodigy and a new guitar virtuoso, set to topple Bert Weedon from his pedestal.
Read full storyFormer BBC Exec Begged Like A Dog For Job Back
It was revealed today, former BBC Director Greg Dyke who resigned in 2004 after a damning report into company baldness pleaded for his job back days after.
Read full storyBeckham to Join LA Galaxy
He used to be the darling of the Stretford End, the Bernabeu, the England fans' favourite, accustomed to playing in front o...
Read full storyTony Blair Calls For Debate On Role of UK Forces
Tony Blair made a keynote speech on Friday about the role of UK Forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. In a brave speech designed to confront his critics, he called for a national debate about the role of UK Forces abroad, and posed the question: "Shou...
Read full storyTop Ten Signs Your Roomate Deals Drugs
1. He claims to be a landscaper. It's the winter. In Maine.
Read full storyBush finds another area of American's lives to invade
Bush proposes a law giving him the right to "make unwarranted searches" into America's Internet usage.
Read full storyWiccans onto a winner with new hex-messaging i-Phone
Macworld, San Francisco - (Ass Mess): A revolutionary new Wiccan hex-messaging i-Phone launched at the annual Geekfest in San Francisco this week is a runaway winner according to reports which show it is outstripping conventional cellphone technology...
Read full storyWhat do the stars say for Will and Kate?
London - (Rioters): Will (he) or won't (he)? Will they or won't they?.... That is the question celebrity spread-yer-legs betting site Aintgottaprayer.com is asking everybody to pour their hard earned cash into as royal engagement speculation...
Read full storyScientology next for Beckham
Madrid, Spain - (Ass Mess): Has-been football superstar David Beckham admitted today that he has been receiving coaching lessons ahead of a full-bling conversion ceremony into the cult of Scientology later this year after scoring a blinder in their P...
Read full storyPrince William Beat Me With A Crowbar!
Fascinating news emerging today about Prince William's time at Eton College when he was student there.
Read full storyOld Hag Starts 'Question Time' Bloodbath
DARTFORD: The studio of BBC's Question Time turned into a bloodbath last night after members of the audience rushed the stage in a bid to attack one of the panellists. Lord Chancellor Charles Falconer was the focus point for anger as he tried to...
Read full story"Troops Want To Come Home" Say Families
Families of troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan say their war-weary sons and daughters want to return home. A group of them have written a letter to Prime Minister Tony Blair pleading with him to sort out the situations in those countries, and g...
Read full storyDon't Fire That Problem Employee - Sell Him on eBay!
Every office has the guy who spends all day looking at internet porn, or the woman who unknowingly provides entertainment by constantly screaming on the phone to her ex about what a jerk he is. Managers are reluctant to fire them because it means lo...
Read full storyPsychology Returns to its Old but Unhappy Roots
They are calling it: "The Scientific Pursuit of Happiness: optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, hope, spirituality". Positive Psychology is all the rage on some campuses but the deeply rooted traditions of modern psychology are reasserting th...
Read full storyUS Binge - UK Purge
Welcome to war as bulimia! As the US announced this week an upcoming surge of thousands of American troops into Iraq, our closest ally, England has decided to withdraw more troops. Initially some saw this as a ridiculous contradiction, however, our r...
Read full storyBush's Iraqi Speech Lulls Even a Dell Laptop to Sleep
After 4 minutes of watching President Bush explaining his new "Not only are we THERE but here's why we're gonna BE there a tad" plan, one Illinois man fell fast asleep, confident that his Dell Latitude 3921 laptop would eas...
Read full storyBush Reveals Operation "Middle Ages" In State of the Union Address; Trades White House For Transylvanian Castle
President Bush, in last night's state of the union address, surprised the whole nation when he revealed a plan to buy all of Europe's old, 14th century castles, including Dracula's, Transylvanian castle in Romania, built 600 year ago to g...
Read full storyNY Trans Fat Ban Will Severely Limit Food Options
New York City's ban on trans fats will permit city residents to consume only a handful of foods such as cabbage, tofu, and chewing gum. Starting in 2008, New Yorkers will have to settle for eating to live rather than living to eat. Manhattan...
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