Written by Fife Peterson

Friday, 12 January 2007

image for Boy George Sweeps Up Again
"You pigeons, get down from there!"

Eighties entertainer, outrageous homosexual & self made misfit Boy George has appeared in London's Trafalgar square dressed in orange overalls, a giant pink cowboy hat & a broom. It is thought, George real name George Alan O'Dowd was so sick of the limelight being turned off him he has taken to the streets in a publicity stunt to 'clean up London'. It is thought George's work is paying off, crime has been cut by 45% in South London & as he makes his way North of the Thames he has left streets clean enough for kids to play in.

"It's amazing, all the scum are gone. Those Eastern European people smuggling rings have all been scared away, drug dealing has moved up north & Friday night's kebab meat is no longer rotting in a side alley 3 months on" says Ken Livingstone, Mayor Of London & king of the street.

It is now thought a gram of Cocaine now costs £300 due to the lack of gangs operating in the south. A drug dealer turned lollipop man Dave Skag thinks it's a great move. "When the drugs dried up I began to think about a real job, I haven't worked since I was a kid when I used to do a paper round for £2 a month. I feel a new man!".

It is thought if George can rid London of it's grime he is in line for a honorary Knighthood at Buckingham Palace.

He was not in the mood to talk to the press today and left photographers staggered shouting "God man I've just swept there, take your bloody shoes off, gaaaaawd!".

George sweep continues.

In other news Dale Winton wishes he still had a job sweeping the aisles...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: London, Boy George

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