Dog Convicted of making owner fat

Funny story written by Fife Peterson

Friday, 12 January 2007

image for Dog Convicted of making owner fat
In the dogpound

Connie the Labrador has been sentenced to 3 years in prison at The Magistrates Court today for human cruelty today.

A court heard that over the last 14 months Connie, 14 had plied her owners with chocolate & fry ups & even had been keeping up her owners day job as a local milkman.

Frank Sow of Surrey, Kent said today: "It's been a living nightmare, that dog had me eating and being lazy 24/7. I couldn't even go to the toilet as she got me so fat".

The court heard today that Mr. Sow was left in a distressed state from a freak accident with a 'Bob The Builder' plastic toy & needed round the clock attention from the dog. The dog systematically fed, clothed & bathed Mr. Sow to a degree where he became complacent & lazy. And to keep her master in touch, the dog used malicious feeding techniques learnt from watching channel Four documentaries about fat people.

Mr Sow ballooned to 3 times his normal body weight & when found was close to death. Help arrived from a neighbour heard "muttered yelps" & smell fat people. She called the police & Connie was arrested in a raid described by the Police as 'textbook'.

The dog is to appeal & will fight it's case that it was merely 'helping' it's owner.

The case continues...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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