Henman early
Tim Henman has turned up at Wimbledon. The tennis ace is five months early, but feels this will give him enough time to warm up for his tournament, and he should be able to beat his opponent.
Read full storyNew Bugsy Malone film
A film catching up on the Bugsy Malone story is being planned. Set seventy years later, the film sees Malone as an East End London gangster with a variety of henchmen.
Read full storyMysterious Urchin heralds second coming
"A mysterious boy has said the Lord is coming, and who are we to doubt it?" Those were the words of David Sneddon, who has abandoned a career in showbusiness to build a crib and change his name to Mary.
Read full storyYing To Stock Average Average
The Ying To stock average closed nineteen points up today after a unsteady start. Rumours abounded in the market of a possible takeover and that the CEO wears women's clothes and hangs around on the docks. Many brokers watched with interest, thou...
Read full storyViolence marred by football
The violence at the Millennium Stadium this weekend was marred by 22 men bent on causing football.
Read full storyApple Issues Apology
Apple have issued an apology over faulty iPods and batteries. It's the first time the juicy giant has admitted a design failure in it's popular range.
Read full storyCongress Ratifies Bill
Dateline New York City - In a bizarre twist the recent uproar of the Indian Hindu population of the Great State of New York, Hillary Ratum Clinton proposed legislation today, which requires that all Rat Worshipers, whom wish to adopt the furry little...
Read full storyEU 'Food Mountain' Given Country Status
Tony Blair hints that he may be considered for the premiership of a new country following his departure from Downing Street.
Read full storyMickey Mouse and Minnie Apologize for Rodent Takeover of NYC Restaurant
"We are distant relatives of the NYC renegade rats," the mouse celebs sorrowfully admitted at a news conference held today.
Read full storyQueen Mother's Memorabilia Auctioned Off
A fish bone that caused the Queen Mother so much trouble in May 1993 will come up for auction at Sotheby's London this summer.
Read full storyWim Kok's Cock Cocks Cock, Cock!
Wim Kok, the former president of the Netherlands, has had his pet rooster Rodney castrated after it was constantly lifting it's leg to urinate while on holiday in the southwest of England.
Read full storyVirginia Becomes First State to Apologize for its Role in Slavery / Offers Free Passage Home
(AXcessive News) Washington - Virgina lawmakers voted unanimously on Saturday to issue an apology for the State's role in slavery, which all began in Jamestown over 400 years ago.
Read full storyScientists discover new letter
Scientists at the University of Tooting have discovered the existence of a new letter after listening to the grunts of south London teenagers. Previously it was assumed that there were only twenty six letters used by English speakers, but a new lette...
Read full storyBush Reveals Plan to Freeze Bin Laden
President of the United States of America George W. Bush, following this mornings shock comments about Osama Bin Laden's fate, agreed to give a brief interview with The Spoof reporter Fred Heart.
Read full storyScience fair at Buckley E. Filbertamous Middle tremendous success
Students at Buckley E. Filbertamous Middle School turned in Science Fair projects last week and were judged today by a panel of nuns. "This is the school's first year having the contest in about five years," said sister Mary Elephant.
Read full storyBBC Admits That There Are Actually More Teams Than Just England In The Six Nations Rugby
Startling news has emerged today as the BBC Sports Department has conceded that there are in fact more countries than just England competing in the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship.
Read full storyMysterious mystery mystifies Ministry
Whitehall- Nick Pope, the Ministry of Defence's top paranormal and unexplained weirdness expert, earlier today stunned reporters with the details of his latest and many might say his strangest case yet.
Read full storyLuscious Penelope Cruz: Oscar is dream come true
Hollywood - (Rotters): Luscious Spanish actress Penelope Cruz says she is still in a state of utter shock after taking the coveted Best Actress Oscar despite feverish British hustling for their very own diva Helen Mirren to rake in the spoils.
Read full storyBookies to rake in fortune as Mirren spoofed for Oscar prize
Hollywod - (Riotous): Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com is reported to be sitting pretty tonight after millions of dumb punters poured a fortune on Dame Hellen Mirren winning the coveted 2007 Academy Award for her portrayal of a talen...
Read full storyBig Brother Mutant Discovered
Scientists working at the University of Stoke have, for the last 24 months, been carrying out tests on U.K. celebrities. The research, it was hoped, would identify genetic characteristics common to the cult of celebrity. Preliminary findings were rev...
Read full storyClit-flash diva admits she had to 'obey sick instinct'
Hollywood - (ReUterus): Ageing has-been movie starlet Sharon Stone has told a Hollywood press conference that her therapist advised her to give in to a 'weird gut feeling' to reinvent her sagging movie career and win a prize for worst actress...
Read full storyVice President Cheney Threatens Iran With War
SYDNEY (Reuters) -- US Vice President Dick Cheney threatened Iran with war in a speech in Sydney, Australia on Friday, saying that Israel and Big Oil and Big Bankers "had ordered him" to make the threat.
Read full storyDeal or No Deal Express launched
Channel Four favourite Deal or No Deal presenter Noel Edmonds has, today, revealed his intention to launch an express version of the popular programme that gets to the point more quickly.
Read full storyShopping frenzy at Fish bazaar
An innocent bystander would think that the end of the world was nigh, judging by the frenzied flock of shoppers beating a path to an East London fish store. Fish Bazar in Shadwell has seen an amazing flurry of activity in the last few days, mainly du...
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