(AXcessive News) Washington - Virgina lawmakers voted unanimously on Saturday to issue an apology for the State's role in slavery, which all began in Jamestown over 400 years ago.
Surprisingly, Virgina is the first State to ever issue an official apology for its role in the slave trade, while maintaining that hundreds of thousands of past slave's ancestors not be allowed to continue on collecting "Their Welfare Checks" (viewed as a right by most African Americans).
Virgina is celebrating the 400th anniversary of Jamestown and as part of those festivities the state is getting the word out that any African American born in this great state is now eligible for free passage back to ports O Call in all parts of Africa (minimum 400 per boatload, on a first come, first stowed basis. The Virginia General Assembly voted on this Resolution that expressed "profound regret" for the state's role in slavery and all involved agreed that a one way ticket home would be the best for the state, and the Union as a whole.
The year was 1619 when the first boatload of Africans arrived on their own accord as indentured servants at the Jamestown settlement. Later, Richmond, Virginia also became a point of arrival for African joojoobees and eventually developed into a pimpin'-slave-trade hub, with many a Virginan pimpin' their booty as depicted here in this artist's rendering from 1845 of a jigAboo auction and tobacco fest, (No women allowed except for the smelly ones).
Now, Virgina has become the first State to pass a Resolution apologizing for its role in slavery. Virgina lawmakers also expressed regret for "the exploitation of Native Americans" in the measure which was passed on the eve of the Jamestown 400th anniversary celebration and lawmakers vowed to find a place to stick the native Americans as well.
A Democrat delegate who sponsored the Resolution, was quoted as saying, "This session of the House will be remembered by the fact that we came together and passed this Resolution, setting aside our differences, cutting the pork barrel fat and finding the money to give these fine folks a free ride home!"
The "slavery apology" Resolution passed the House 96-0 and cleared the 40-member Senate on a unanimous voice vote. Virgina's governor Tim Caine is not required to submit to a polygraph test over his alleged "care" of 3 young pretty African American women.
Governor Caine highlighted the bipartisan success of his 2007 legislative agenda Saturday in a press release, but made no mention of the "slavery apology" Resolution passed by Virgina lawmakers, most likely due to his frank remarks relative to loss of income over the spending necessary to export these folks back to there native lands. Groups are already threaten' to protest the lack of hog jowls and grits on the boat trip home.
The passing of the "slavery apology" Resolution coincides with Black History Month, which Virgina celebrated with special tours of historic sites, music, drama, film, drum beating, chanting and soul food.
The resolution says government-sanctioned slavery "ranks as the most horrendous of all depredations of human rights. Violations of our founding fathers' ideals in our nation's history, and the abolition of slavery was followed by systematic discrimination, enforced segregation, and other insidious institutions and practices toward Americans of African descent that were rooted in racism, racial bias, and racial misunderstanding leading the the conclusion that Virgina would be better off w/o these folks."
All parties whom meet the criteria and wish to "Go Home" can easily find the phone number in there cell phones under "Welfare". It is estimated that 98% of the states African American population has this number memorized by heart, the response is expected to be overwhelming.
By Gollie
