Bookies to rake in fortune as Mirren spoofed for Oscar prize

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Bookies to rake in fortune as Mirren spoofed for Oscar prize
Mirren: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac

Hollywod - (Riotous): Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com is reported to be sitting pretty tonight after millions of dumb punters poured a fortune on Dame Hellen Mirren winning the coveted 2007 Academy Award for her portrayal of a talented British character actress.

Insider sources say that ever since Penelope Cruz dumped Tom Cruise the movie industry agreed overwhelmingly to honor her talent with a Best Actress Oscar for her role in the film Volver.

"Nobody wants some wrinkly, ageing, botoxed, has-been Brit Dame to win the spoils when our very own lovely native talent is so much more f****ble", said a movie industry insider.

The feeble Mirren nomination is said to have been an industry lip-service spoiler for a done deal which will see Cruz's earnings soar to over $25 million per picture in 2008.

"Mirren is like Camilla: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac."

Odds on Pelenlope Cruz have now shortened dramatically to 2/1.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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