
Starbucks Completes Death Star; World Takeover Imminent
Seattle, WA-Starbucks Coffee Inc announced Wednesday that its supreme plan for world domination will be placed into effect a month early as their Death Star orbiting seven hundred miles off Earth has been completed ahead of schedule.
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Montana: Big Sky State A Fraud
For over 70 years Montana has bragged on state stationery, on car tags and in advertising campaigns that it has the largest sky in the world. Not so, say scientists working in Idaho and Wyoming. They have determined that, contrary to Monta...
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Bin Laden releases CD on Afghanistan Gangsta label
In an audiotape offering a terror truce to European countries that pull their troops from Muslim nations, Osama bin Laden also suggested he might be willing to ease up a little if he could just get a thick juicy steak and a hot shower. C.I.A. ana...
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Thousands of missing students found
(KANSAS) - Acting on a tip from an observant parking lot attendant, authorities have located over 150,000 school-aged children who, apparently, were left behind.
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Hundreds Die in Fatal Crash
Just earlier today, the horrible crash of The Spoof writer John Carroll's computer resulted in the deaths of hundreds of files. The final death total is still being tallied, but experts are projecting it may near the thousands. Among the dead ide...
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Drunken TV Pitchmen Arrested
(Bozeman, Montana) Police were called early this morning to Hobart's Bar on the West side of Bozeman where a fight was in progress between two "totally wasted" lumberjacks.
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Bush Announces Clean Vegetable Initiative
All children to eat Texas okra; broccoli to be banned...
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Revealed: Books That Currupt Children
After many months of sometimes tedious, sometimes dangerous research, I can exclusively reveal that there is a highly organised group of powerful people who devote their careers to the corruption of young children. They have been practising their foul and despicable trade right under our noses for many years, passing off their vile products under the guise of 'education' and 'en...
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Florida to be cut off from the US, said to make profile too sexist.
Washington - US lawmakers, under pressure from some of the largest women's rights groups in America have decided to cut Florida out of the Union - literally. The nation's largest tourist destination and 27th state will be shaved off and set af...
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Astronomers Discover Largest Galactic Clusterfuck Yet
Garching, Germany-A consortium of European astronomers announced this week that they have discovered the largest galactic clusterfuck ever seen.
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Hamza admits Shoe Bomber is his son by Caplin
Radical cleric and Belmarsh-detainee Mustafa Kemal Mustafa - variously known as Cap'n Hook and Abu Hamza - today issued a statement via his lawyers @aintgottaprayer.com that convicted "shoe bomber" Richard Reid is his nat...
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Cicada Slurpee Recipe
Catch one quart of cicadas * with large net. In a blender, mix cicadas with:...
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Gordon Brown to be Extradited to US
Home Secretary and fierce Blair Loyalist, David Blunkett has today announced that Chancellor Gordon Brown is to be extradited to the United States.
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Blair: "I'm Staying"
Under mounting pressure to resign from both Backbenchers and Cabinet colleagues, Prime Minister Tony Blair has reinforced his intention to remain in Number 10 Downing Street until after the next General Election.
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Kerry Attacks Bush
John F. Kerry, the Democratic Parties nominee apparent has attacked George Bush...physically. The Massachusetts Senator, who in the past has attacked the Presidents policies on Iraq, education, employment and the environment said he was "just fed up...
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Bush orders 420 removed from national time keeping system
Washington- Today on the advice of attorney general John Ashcroft, President Bush announced that the U.S. will be phasing out 4:20 on the US ti...
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Jackson to auction face
ENCINO (CA) - One day after scientists in Louisville, KY announced plans to perform the world's first full-face transplant, a spokesman for Michael Jackson says the embattled pop star is putting his famous mug on the block for a cool $12M.
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Bush Resigns The Presidency
Washington, DC - President George W. Bush has resigned from office effective this morning. The resignation came within hours of a news report in The Spoof which linked the dog collars and leashes used to abuse Iraqi detainees to "Barney" the White Ho...
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Prison Abuse Scandal Linked to George W. Bush's Dog
Washington, DC (AP) Sources at the Pentagon admitted this morning that the dog collars and leashes used in the abuse of Iraqi detainees at the Abu...
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American Idol Biased Towards the South
American Idol is biased. Yes, I said it. Most of the finalists have been from the South. We've only had one runner-up, Justin Guarini, from the North, and it's just not fair. The North has a long history of great talent. Madonna is from Michigan, which is in the NORTH. Prince is from Minneapolis, Minnesota, which is way NORTH. Aerosmith is from BOSTON, which is UP NORTH.
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