Ashcroft Nukes Onion Compound! WAR ON SATIRE Continues.
Unconfirmed sources report that the government has dropped a tactical nuclear weapon on the Onion compound. The initial assault on the compound ended after over 400 days when the military pulled out and declared victory. We now know the retreat was m...
Read full storyIraq: New US weapon deployed
Investigative reporters have discovered a new weapon currently being deployed in Iraq. These exclusive pictures (widely available on the internet) caught the sheer brutality of the weapon in action, an exploding US flag.
Read full storyKerry and Imus in 2004?
Seeking to balance the 2004 Democratic ticket with someone who isn't boring as hell, John Kerry today named radio/television personality Don Imus his vice presidential running mate.
Read full storyBush to Iraqi Insurgents: Could You Please Stop Bringing ‘Em On?
In a speech directed towards Iraqi insurgents and those who may have been offended enough by the photos of prisoner abuse in the Abu Ghraib prison to rise up against American soldiers, U.S. President George W. Bush called for an end to the aggression...
Read full storyGoogle is lost
Google is lost. A worldwide web search has been launched to locate the search engine and its employees.
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld Abused by Troops in Iraq
United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was mistaken for an Iraqi Prisoner today and experienced abuse by the US troops first hand.
Read full storyDecorators Vote: Belgium Worlds Dullest Country
Imagine you are dressed in brown clothes - a brown shirt, brown coat, brown pants, shoes and socks. Imagine that everyone around you is dressed in brown and that everyone they know is wearing brown.
Read full storyMuch To Learn From Abu Ghraib Prison Tapes
(Fort Benning, GA) The School of the Americas - the US Army school which trains Latin American Armies to put down unrest in their countries through excessive violence and even murder - has asked Government authorities for copies of the photos and tap...
Read full storyScientists Discover New Disease Related to Too Much Reality TV Watching
Hollywood, CA Scientists at the Bad Television Institute of the Americas have uncovered a new disease which affects avid Reality-TV watchers. T...
Read full story'Frasier' Finale News: Kelsey Grammer was Not Impressed With 'Friends' Finale
"I tell you, I'm the one who made NBC what it is. The bastards!!! " a drunk, bitter Kelsey Grammer shouted out of the window of his Manhattan loft, late Sunday night. "They give those kids hours and hours of TV time, I'm a mere afterthought. I won&#...
Read full storyWorld's Ugliest Baby Turns One
Columbia, MO - Joe and Patty Simpson didn't know exactly what they were getting into when they agreed to adopt an underprivileged child almost twelve months ago. Like so many other people wanting children, adoption was the only route available to the...
Read full storyRumsfeld: Never Owned Nazi Book
(Washington, D.C.) Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said he was shocked and embarrassed when a former house keeper related to a reporter that she saw Running A Nazi Death Camp For Dummies on the book shelf in his home study.
Read full storyOink Oink
I worked for a Commodities trader in Chicago. They made me put on a pork belly suit. It was a sorry ass pig costume, pink with a little curly tail. It looked like the worst skinned pig you’ve ever seen and had "bellies" scrawled across the front. I didn't want to do it. Normally, I’d never consider it, but I was planning to quit, so I said, fuck it, took the hundred bucks...
Read full storyLow-Down on the Don Ho American Idol Conspiracy
USA -- The whole country was in shock from 9:55 - 9:57 EST last night as LaToya London was voted off of American Idol. "Man, this i...
Read full storyRumsfeld defends 'racist' Chinese gesture
US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has defended comments made during an international summit on race relations last week, when he allegedly pulled faces at the Chinese delegate, and asked for an order of "Flied lice".
Read full storyIraqi Peace Plan--Saddam's Back in Style
Baghdad--In a surprise announcement during his surprise visit to Iraq, American Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld revealed the new American plan to restore order and democracy to the troubled nation. Saddam Hussein will be released from prison and allowe...
Read full storyRalph Nader just about Screwed
Today Ralph Nader the Green party leader and presidential and hopeful presidential candidate without being registered in any state for contender in the 2004 presidential race was today offered the role as presidential candidate for the Reform party.
Read full storyDying Sparrow Photo 'Fake'
The Sparrow Mirror, Britain's best selling sparrow orientated tabloid, today published a photograph of what it says is evidence of systematic abuse inside the aviary section of Abu Ghraib prison, where around seventy Iraqi insurgent sparrows are...
Read full storyUnited States - A Retarded Bully
(Brussels) The European Union voted today for a resolution which declares that the United States is more like a retarded bully than a responsible country.
Read full storyNew Approach On Afghanistan -- Afghan Hounds
(Washington, D.C. -- The Pentagon) American military planners, led by the Joint Chiefs of Staff announced early today that American strategy in Afghanistan would change. At a briefing by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Air Force General Richard B...
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