Rumsfeld defends 'racist' Chinese gesture

US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has defended comments made during an international summit on race relations last week, when he allegedly pulled faces at the Chinese delegate, and asked for an order of "Flied lice".
Mr Rumsfeld said today that his "attempt to speak Chinese was merely a gesture of international goodwill aimed at promoting race-relations".
The move comes just days after Rumsfeld's visit to Africa, where he performed the two-hour premier of his Black Minstrel routine which is due to appear at this year's Edinburgh Festival.
"I've long considered myself to be the world's leading advocate of racial harmony," Rumsfeld said. "Anyone who can say they've done as much as me to promote international relations is lying."
Furious Chinese, Kenyan, and South African diplomats have blasted the US defence secretary for his "outbursts" and have made repeated calls for his resignation over the last week.
"I'd like to thank the Chinese and African delegates for their kind compliments on my recent gestures," added Rumsfeld, "and I will continue to do everything in my power to branch out to those funny coloured people.
"Anyone who says otherwise, is a communist, and an unAmerican traitor!"
Controversy is set to again fall on the beleagured defence kingpin next month when he addresses an audience of Holocaust survivors.
"Wait till they get a load of my speech," added Rumsfeld, "It's a gas!"