U.S. Seized By NUTS
Close on the heels of the worldwide SARS scare, and with the country battling a burgeoning influenza epidemic, the U.S. Center for Disease Control has released the results of its investigation of a mysterious ailment appearing in many states.
Read full storyDon't Call Me, I'll Call You
I shouldn’t have put my name on the National Do Not Call Registry. This morning, just as I was relaxing with my sixteenth cup of coffee, there was a knock at the door. I opened it up and there was a guy standing before me with two telephone receivers in his hand. “Can I help you?” I ask, a little taken aback. The fellow held up a finger, the first one, so don’t worry, and handed me one o...
Read full storyWar Erupts At Disney World
After the Seven Dwarves Security Council had passed resolution after resolution to force Donald Duck, ducktator of Frontierland, to allow weapons inspections in his part of the theme park, President Mickey Mouse ordered an invasion by Main Street USA...
Read full storyQueen slams Anne in Christmas Speech
The Queen's Christmas Day speech was recorded at an Army barracks this year - because it was the only place where Her Majesty felt safe from Princess Anne's killer dog.
Read full storyKeown to star in new Apes film
Arsenal footballer Martin Keown has landed a cameo role in the new Planet of the Apes film, set for release late next year.
Read full storyStupid Slogans
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.
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