Keown to star in new Apes film

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Friday, 26 December 2003

image for Keown to star in new Apes film
Keown comes into his own during casting

Arsenal footballer Martin Keown has landed a cameo role in the new Planet of the Apes film, set for release late next year.

The ex-England defender will play evil warrior-gorilla Aldo in a remake of the 1971 classic ‘Return to the Planet of the Apes', which will also feature Hollywood stars such as Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Roth.

Director Tim Burton spotted Keown's potential after his performance against Manchester Utd earlier this season.

"Martin was very relaxed during casting and I think he could go a long way playing simian characters," he said. "The other advantage is that we're going to save a hell of a lot of money on make-up."

Keown is not the first footballer to go into acting. Ex-Utd star Eric Cantona managed a passable French accent in ‘Elizabeth I' while ex-Wimbledon and Chelsea hardman Vinny Jones starred in Guy Ritchie's ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' after being spotted by the British director assaulting various other players during his 15-year playing career.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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