Chicago, IL - Jussie Smollett, the disgraced ‘Empire’ actor, has now claimed that while he was in Chicago PD custody, he was brutally assaulted and left smelling of hazelnuts. Smollett was released on $100,000.00 bail and immediately related hi...
Governor Murphy announced he will be signing the Bill passed last week by the Democratic lawmakers in New Jersey to ban swimming at all beaches on the Jersey Shore this year. House Bill 1916 was passed through both Houses last Thursday. Spe...
Mrs. Jane Sunderland is on-board a cruise ship in the middle of the Gulf, unable to dock due to the stalled Hurricane Harvey. The luxury liner left last Sunday, August 20th and was due to return to Houston on the 27th. "We are living in absolu...
Biloxi, MS- After a local McDonald's refused to take down a statue featuring Ronald McDonald, Grimace, and the Hamburglar, a large group of ANTIFA burned the establishment to the ground. ANTIFA spokesperson Tiffany Jackson said, "What we did was...
Wash. D.C.- President Trump met with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto at the White House on Monday. The meeting was to be a discussion on US/Mexico relations, the proposed Wall along our mutual border, who was to pay for said Wall, and many o...
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced his plan to build a wall on the southern border with the United States today. "With the prospect of a Trump Presidency becoming more likely, and the announced intentions of many Liberal American D...
Washington DC-President Obama used his Executive authority to officially change the name of ISIS today. With one scribble of his pen, the President declared the name of ISIS (or ISIL), should now be referred to only as 'Global Warming'. The Pre...
Burlington, VT - Today, Sen. Bernie Sanders unveiled his plan to allow the United States of America to be annexed by Russia should he become President. "It would not cost us one penny" said Sanders, "and what would we gain? Free healthcare, fre...
The Russian men's hockey team, were eliminated from play by the Finnish men's team, 3-1 today, setting off protests throughout Russia. Under great pressure from the people of Russia to 'do something', Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered a f...
The man responsible for the Olympic ring mishap was sentences to 18 years of hard labor in a Siberian prison camp today. Vladimir Netsov, 53, of Moscow was the technical director of the opening ceremonies at the Olympics in Sochi, Russia on Fri...
Today, the President took unprecedented action. Citing gridlock, do-nothingness, and an utter disdain for the Representatives of the people of the United States, the President signed Executive Order #100068. This order reads, "Effective immediately,...
Jimbo "Spanks" Williams is angry. Spanks lives in a trailer directly across the road from Fort Campbell, KY. During a recent winter storm, several soldiers returning to base on a bus, broke down next to his trailer. The commanding officer, Major...
Washington DC - After a man used his car to kill and maim several innocent people in Venice Beach, CA the other morning, a leading Democrat in Congress is set to introduce a bill banning all vehicles in America. The Congressperson stated, "Ameri...
Washington D.C. - It was revealed today that President Obama ordered a raid on a terrorist compound this afternoon. Three helicopters were launched filled with 70 commandos, 25 members of an elite SEAL team, and a plethora of high-tech equipment. Th...
Hades - Osama Bin Laden was "disappointed but happy" when he arrived in Hell yesterday. "I was certainly looking forward to my 72 virgins." stated Bin Laden after being advised that his religion was false. His sadness was replaced by a little j...
New York City, NY - The Donald called a press conference today to announce he was responsible for Osama bin Laden's demise. "I give myself great credit. I am the one who forced President Obama to reveal his original long form birth certificate. I kept asking, where is the birth certificate? John McCain couldn't do it, not even the Clintons could do it. I DID IT! "Now, everyone should send...
Islamabad, Pakistan - The Daily World Bulletin Report is reporting that Osama Bin Laden was found living outside Islamabad, Pakistan in a women's retirement home. After a brief fire-fight, the body of the leader of Al Qaeda was found with false...
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