A new study has found that science website articles repeat themselves frequently. Linguists from the Universitat Grossen Luegen in Cologne, Germany have analysed over seventy thousand articles appearing in major publications and websites and have fou…
In a series of tweets taking many in government and the science world by storm, President Trump has announced his intention to construct a wall around the Solar System, to prevent further illegal immigration of dark matter. "Invading invisible pa...
AS the debate on the Scottish referendum kicks off in earnest, SNP leader Alec "Fishy" Salmond has issued a stark warning to the Westminster government: "I'll batter those stuck up Tory English c***s!" In a speech to party faithful at the 300-Year...
Whitehall and the Government are in shock tonight after a leaked recording alleged to be of a British RAF Officer - identified only as "HRH" - torturing an Afghan civilian was released by Welsh whistle-blowing website Wikileeks. It has sparked demands for a forces-wide review, and for the officer in question to be sharply rebuked. The true horror of the acts can only be appreciated in transc...
In a move to dramatically reduce spending and make savings of almost £50k, Executives at Fife Council are considering plans to "Resettle in the East Neuk" inhabitants of some of Fife's most notorious streets and housing estates. "This will reduce...
David Cameron may be on the eve of his greatest triumph or worst disaster, but come what may there is no doubt in the minds of his former schoolmates that he was the best Head Boy they ever had. Lord Scopolamine of Bahookie recalls the Tory hopef...
Bakewell, Hampshire - The Kipling family announced today that Lionel Kipling, father to a nation of obese diabetics, died peacefully at home on Wednesday. He was 79. Although Mr Kipling was greatly admired by a cake-munching public, he had not in...
Scientists at the Kodos Institute in Argentina, South America, have discovered a genetic mechanism for patronisation. Genes are curled up little things inside your cells, which tell your body how to make itself. You get them from your mother and...
Science has triumphed again. The University of Life in Utah has published a study which details why texting (sending SMS messages on a cellular phone) while driving an automobile is dangerous. "Forward lateral control is markedly reduced," said P...
Tony Blair today expanded on his astounding claim that he would have found a way to gain the mandate to invade Iraq without the dossier on weapons of mass destruction. He explained that in fact a UN resolution was not required, that the UK Parliament...
"In the Night Garden": A relaxing jaunt to a fantasy world for babies and young children, with loveable, quirky characters and high quality music and effects, broadcast at bedtime on the BBC. Or is it a shocking documentary compiled from actual footage taken by agents of the British Goverment showing the results of nazi-style experiments on innocent victims of the war on terror? Iggle Piggl...
Despite the excitement being generated in some quarters by the Large Hadron Collider, the Internationaler Symposion Von Quantum Physic which took place in nearby Geneva this week declared in a statement to the press "Bugger quantum theory. Bugger it.
Oxford, England: In a breakthrough for neuroscience, scientists at the Costalot Coffee Oxford University have given a fly false memories using a laser. The work was announced by Professor Vissarion Meerschaum. His team had spent painstaking month...
Birmingham, England - Four teenage boys have appeared in the High Court in London charged with incitement to racial hatred, conspiracy to commit murder, and offenses under the Prevention of Terrorism Act. The case has been brought by prosecutors afte...
Edinburgh, Scotland and/or UK - Store staff at IKEHYA in Edinburgh were shocked to discover another murder victim yesterday, the third in the store in as many months. The 32-year-old man had been beaten, kicked and bitten, attacked with DIY tools, an...
London, England - Police have described the tapping of the mobile phones of John Prescott, former New Labour Deputy, by News International Journalists as "Nauseating. Against all moral laws." Thousands of phones belonging to politicians, entertainers...
Furious parents are marching on Westminster today to protest the perceived "Militarisation" of children's television, and the "Theft of innocence." Since MPs voted to introduce the under-five's curriculum, current affairs will be making an appeara...
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