Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...
A major announcement from McDonald's -who like all companies forced to compete in the global marketplace - is committed to using good old American creativity and resourcefulness to beat China and India at their own game. "McDonald's will be employ...
Tybee Island: McDonald's have announced that it is to open a second McDonald's restaraunt next door to an existing McDonald's in the rather odd little town of Tybee, Tybee Island. "Big Mac lovers just can't stand being far from their favorite McD...
Norfolk, VA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or, PETA, received a $100M donation from the McDonald's Corporation in exchange for a gentlemen's agreement that PETA will feature McDonald's menu items in PETA's advertising campaigns. Mc...
Chicago- CEO Don Thompson was challenged and often shouted down by some insistent and disruptive shareholder meeting disrupters. A belligerent Debbie Bipolaria, representative of Mothers United in Parental Neglect, accused McDonalds of using popul...
LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, ARIZONA -- In a fast food counter attack, McDonald's is launching a commercial featuring 12 everyday illegal aliens from Arizona named "Taco" Bell being arrested by authorities. "My name is Ernesto 'Taco' Bell," said one man f...
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food chain has just announced that it has just unveiled it latest burger creation. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta said that after just being on the market for 24 hours the new McVolcanoburger is...
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The latest sales reports for the McDonald's fast food chain are in and they show a downward slide trend continuing. Golden Arches spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta informed the news media that a lot of that has to do with the big a...
BEVERLY HILLS - It appears that Jennifer Lawrence is becoming more famous for her slips, trips, and falls than for her acting. "Trippy" Lawrence, as Michelle Obama has nicknamed her, is noted for having tripped at last year's Academy Award Show wh...
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The home office of the McDonut's Fast Food Franchise has just received a report from one of its restaurants. According to spokesperson Nancy Zabeletta, located west of the Mississippi River has reportedly fired one of its emp...
Whatever he was up to, an unnamed male (at present) suddenly appeared in New York McDonalds and ran into a lot of trouble. "He actually got in the back door", stated an employee that someone forgot to relock after going out back for a break. He ha...
BEVERLY HILLS - Actress Kirstie Alley recently appeared on The View and she told Barbara Walters that she hardly ever gets any movie scripts anymore. She noted that the last script she got was for a Portuguese film about an ex-matador who goes to...
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food franchise has addressed the idea it had been developing regarding Big Mac vending machines. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta told the news media that the company had been toying with the idea...
While chickens have no nuggets the whole process of fixing the favorite McDonalds bestseller can be sickening. The mechanically separated chicken are turned into this pink goop so we can create delicious chicken nuggets and even juicy chicken patt...
Americans are largely apathetic as their country slides into third world status. The infrastructure is ready to collapse, 1 in 5 kids struggle with hunger, 18 to 32 % are in poverty (it's definitional), 40% of the national budget goes for past, pres...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Post Office Department has just announced that they have worked out a deal with the number one fast food franchise in the world; McDonald's. The USPO in an effort to bring in more revenue has agreed to put a Mc...
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