Pearly Gates, Heaven - Mother Nature tips back her raggedy leaf-crown in front of God's famous gates, refusing to go to arbitration over their on-going dispute regarding her wage package. The wand-waving Disastress has been very vocal over the last s...
New York, NY - After being announced as the winner of the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize for groovy songs, sources close to legendary songwriter, Bob Dylan, say that all he really wants is a surfboard trophy from the Teen Choice Awards. "Mr. Dylan couldn'...
Los Angeles, CA - A 5K charity walk to end hunger in Los Angeles has done the job. 100% problem solved! There are now no more hungry people anywhere in the entire city of L.A.! Go look for yourself. Head Walk Organizer, Debbie Zimmerfeet, explaine...
London, UK, England - You can buy anything and connect it to the internet these days; TV's and microwaves, toilets and toasters. Even the latest artificial leg comes with online capabilities and is part of our new world's Internet Of Things. Now,...
Sacramento, Calif - The California State Assembly approved a controversial new voting system late Monday night, now known as the "You're Fired!" voting method. "It's so easy and convenient," explained Democratic Chairperson Amy Thumbsdown. "You c...
West Palm Beach, FL - A recent study conducted at golf tournaments on the PGA Tour and LPGA events has uncovered the disheartening fact that yelling at your golf ball during flight has absolutely no effect on how it behaves. "I just can't believe...
Vatican City, Italy - God has given word to Pope Francis that he wants the pontiff to file a lawsuit in New Jersey's 2nd appellate court, claiming that Angel Soft toilet paper is guilty of defamation of character against his beloved angels. "God w...
Kenya, Africa - The instant addiction to the new Pokémon Go game has already reached all corners of the globe, causing its players all sorts of unique injuries in pursuit of hunting Pokémon. But one poor Kenyan fellow won't be Facebooking his injurie...
Gulf Shores Beach, FL - Jimmy Buffett doesn't need to be searching for his 'lost shaker of salt' anymore, he can easily afford to hire someone to find it for him. The music legend, who's been touring the country with his Coral Reefer Band for decades...
London, UK, Britain, England - It appears that after the torrid and heart-wrenching breakup (which Brexit's boyfriend, E.U. didn't really think she had the nerve to do) she's really leaving this time! But now after storming out, she's forgotten t...
Britain, U.K. - After casting millions of votes to name England's new oceanic research vessel Boaty McBoat Face, and then being denied the name by those in charge of naming boats and stuff, most british citizens would now like to stop using the word...
Jerusalem, Israel - A team of Oxford Theologists have confirmed what many believers have suspected for the last twenty years--that the most annoying of all gardening equipment was first thought up by the devil himself. "We stumbled across a very d...
Santa Monica, CA - One of L.A.'s most popular yoga studios has invented a very unique way to solving it's green house gas output - by harnessing farts! "I was in the middle of leading a Hot Bikram class through downward-dog poise," tells Raven Bra...
Pheonix, AZ - The world's biggest web-based University is expanding to meet new market demands, now offering online classes for all ages. "Our studies found there is a very real demand to leave your toddler in front of a computer screen for at le...
Washington, D.C. - A recent study conducted by the U.S. Justice Department found that arrest rates for crimes of all sorts, in every major metropolitan area in the last five years, were way, way up! And the key reason seems to be the ridiculous fash...
Tampa, FL - WWF Wrestling star, Hulk Hogan, was awarded a vein-popping monetary settlement of more than $100 million dollars, with celebrity news website, Gawker, for showing a thrity-second video of The Hulkamaniac naked-wrestling his buddy's wife.
Minneapolis, MN - According to sources closest to the recently deceased Pop/Rock/Fashion and Home Furnishings Icon, Prince, he actually did enjoy making doves and other birds cry, which was the impetus for one of his most beloved songs. "I remembe…
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