In scenes eerily reminiscent of Selhurst Park, South London, when he twatted gobshite Crystal Palace fan Matthew Simmons following racial abuse, allegedly, if 'f**k off you French c**t' qualifies as racial abuse, Eric Cantona has been at it again.
There was shock in both the Sport and Scientific communities today as a Manchester United spokesman revealed that 17 year old star Federico Macheda was genetically created as part of a youth construction programme run by the club. It appears that...
Sir Alex Ferguson was today reportedly spitting feathers following Manchester United's failed bid to sign up Lindsay Lohan. Who nobody this side of the Atlantic has ever heard of. But who apparently has a huge lesbian following stateside. "When...
Cash rich Manchester United has dipped its toe in a new transfer market causing their trade mark controversy in the process. Following the weekend's photo's of United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, leaving a Berlin restaurant with German Chancellor,...
Christiano Ronaldo, after months of speculation, has finally confirmed that he is to move away from Manchester United. Ronaldo has been plying his trade at Old Trafford for 'some' years now, and many people in many places assumed that he would con...
Bad news just keeps on cropping-up for the Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson! This morning, he was at the centre of a new and potentially-damaging controversy over his touchline behaviour during games, and more specifically, his penchant f...
There were disappointed fans at Old Trafford tonight after the Champions League quarter-final first-leg match between Manchester United and FC Porto ended in a 2-2 draw, giving the Portuguese side a distinct advantage going in to the second leg next...
Violent disorder broke out in Manchester tonight in the wake of the club's 3-2 victory over a plucky Aston Villa, following news that the club's American owners were preparing for a rebranding of the club, beginning with a name change. "United's a...
Ecstatic scenes today in Manchester as 'Fred The Red' Macheda, with back to goal, took one touch before curling a sublime right footed shot beyond the grasp of a desperate Brad Friedel and ever onward into the net, sealing a 3-2 victory for Mancheste...
Manchester United have had enough. And that's official. Following complaints that the Premiership was turning into a one horse race, United capitulated to an embarrassing, soul destroying defeat against the scouse hun, and a defeat away to a bunch of...
Manchester United have been rocked just hours before their Sunday clash with Aston Villa after striker Dimitar Berbatov was ruled out for two weeks with a mood injury. The sullen Bulgarian star suffered the problem in the 2-0 defeat at Fulham two...
Manchester United have confirmed reports that Sir Alex Ferguson is to have another baby. An official spokesperson revealed "Yes, it's true. He is expecting another son. He will call him Wayne." Sir Alex has been fathering children for many years.
Here is the Man United squad for Saturday's match: Edwiny van der Sarsy Gary Nevillesy Patricey Evrasy Oweny Hargreavesy Rioey Ferdinandsy Wessy Brownsy Cristiany Ronaldosy Andersonsy Dimitary Berbatovsy Wayney Rooneysy Ryany Giggsy Benny Fostersy Parky Ji-Sungsy Pauly Scholesy Mikey Carricksy Manager: Alexy Fergsy And the Liverpool one: Diegy Cavaliersy Andry Dossenas...
Reports are coming in that a man was picked up by the Portuguese Coastguard, having been mysteriously cast adrift in the Atlantic Ocean. Miraculously, the man was alive. Portuguese Coastguard Muslimo Ronaldinho told us: "The man was picked u...
After booting should be lobotomized Looney Rooney, Castrato singer and soccer afficionado, Fabio Acapello sent not merry old soul, Ashley Cole, the mad drunk of Manchester packing. Acapello told the Rude Footballers Tabloid that drunks are ten pen...
Following Manchester United's second defeat in a week, and Liverpool's triumphant resurgence, scoring four against Real Madrid, four at Old Trafford against United, and five at Anfield against Aston Villa, pundits have been asking the question: Ar...
After their miserable and bad-tempered 2-0 defeat to Fulham at Craven Cottage yesterday, last year's Premier League champions Manchester United were forced to face the grim reality that their title might just be slipping away from them. United, no...
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