Bloodyvostock - (Cuban Missal Crisis Mess): The man in charge of Russia's vanished nuclear submarine fleet - last seen teetering on the brink of a notorious Arctic Circle wormhole - has been sacked by Prime Monster Vladimir Putin. GRU military int...
Hertfordshire - (Snake Oil Ass Mess): A High Court judge slammed Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin's hired thugs for the December 2005 arson attack on the Buncefield oil storage depot. Judge David Steel said that a series of global attacks on...
A picture has emerged apparently showing Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin in his former days as a KGB officer, under the covers of a bed, with President Ronald McDonald, I mean Reagan. The 20-year old photo clearly shows the two men frolick...
The Election Fixer - Want to stay in power forever? Want to avoid silly little things like democracy? The the all-new election fixer is for you. Developed at laboratories in Moscow by Professor Putin, the renowned scientist and despot, the election fixer is a revelation. Gone are the days of military coups and juntas. Now you can maintain power whilst pretending to follow the constitution. And...
Moscow - (Plutonium-210 Mess): Humorless Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin has warned a Moscow meeting that the 'era of cheap gags' about his manhood is over. In a keynote speech to members of a loose grouping known as the Gags Exporting Coun...
Impressed by Vladimir Putin's hold on Soviet power despite no longer being Premier, Dick Cheney has secretly flown to Moscow to be personally coached by the 'Iron Man Of Russia'. Knowing that he will be out of a job in a month and that a lot of h...
Moscow - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has been caught shagging former Olympic 'artistic' gymnast Svetlana Vasilievna Khorkina, now a Deputy in the Russian State Duma. Private detectives acting for Mrs Putin...
Bangkok,Thailand/ Reuters - Talk show host Larry King boosted his sagging ratings with a shocking TV confession by Aruba sociopath Joran van der Sloot that he was responsible for the disappearance of Fox Anchor Greta Van Susteran! The dogged Van S...
Washington AC/DC - (Hairy Ass Mess): The Senate public appointments standards watchdog has heard evidence that desperate Secretary of State-wannabe Hillary Clinton is Vladimir Putin's sister. The testimony emerged after NATO military intelligence...
Wall Street, in a surprising move today, declared itself a separate governing republic and detached itself from the US. Always considered a bulwark of staunch capitalism, recent economic downturns and the stimulants have changed the economic think…
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, has agreed to pull his troops completely out of Georgia under increased pressure from the West. In a televised announcement, he admitted that the whole thing had been a stunt to highlight his new martial arts DVD...
Moscow - Those who have been concerned what Vladimir Putin would do once he steps down from politics can now sleep easy. Putin has revealed that he is a world champion black belt level fartistnik. Starting in November he plans a world tour under the...
Runner-up beauty queen, Sarah Palin appeared on the arm of Vlad the Impaler Putin at the Northern Lights energy Promenade, or the GazProm, named after Russia's government favored energy conglomerate. Palin explained that Putin just reared his hea...
Aleksander Putin the Impaler had a birthday recently and one of his surprise gifts was a rare Ussuri tiger. Putin surrounded by his many close allies and even closer enemies were deeply sloshed ina flood of vodka and caviar when the tsarommisar decid...
Moscow, Russia / Terrorist Times Funded by a massive financial grant from a Democrat controlled Congress, the Militant Action Group, ACORN, assured its military independence by completing a huge weapons deal facilitated by Vladimir Putin, former K...
Moscow - (Plutonium 210 Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin is planning his country's biggest UFO-nuking exercise since the Cuban missal (sic) crisis ordered by the Vatican in 1962. The hardline Arctic Circle operation has been s...
Mount Palomar, California (IPP) - Scientists working in the DNA lab section of the Mount Palomar Observatory Campus (MPOC) have concluded with 100% scientific certainty that Sarah Palin and Vladimir Putin are one and the same. Political observers...
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