Bloodyvostock - (Cuban Missal Crisis Mess): The man in charge of Russia's vanished nuclear submarine fleet - last seen teetering on the brink of a notorious Arctic Circle wormhole - has been sacked by Prime Monster Vladimir Putin.
GRU military intelligence chief General Valentin Korabelnikov was booted out of office this morning and stripped of his rank after Putin complained 'he'd made him look a fool', again.
Korabelnikov, 69, had masterminded the Russians' decade-long 20-sub surveillance of US oil supermajors' Arctic prospecting without realising the operation was a Pentagon sting using holograms and Semtex.
This resulted in the entire Russian sub fleet being lured into the notorious Plug Hole temporal anomaly 500 miles north of Junea, Alaska, where powerful gravitational fluxes sucked the entire array straight into the plutonium/uranium geo-reactor in the Earth's core.
Korabelnikov has been replaced with stunning Russian 22 year-old peroxide tennis player Maria Sharapova who takes over on a part-time basis from next Monday.
, head of Russian military intelligence, the GRU.